#this kiss changed the trajectory of my romantic expectations

[weepynymph]

How to Train Your Dragon 2 / Hiccup & Astrid

[queen-of-hawkins-why-ler]

I just finished my s3 rewatch yesterday and I need to talk about how heartbreaking Mike's sequence is in the final scenes. You can literally see his reaction to figuring out that he's gay evolve from initial confusion, to shock, to devastation and distress as well as immense fear about what comes next.

When El kisses him, he realizes right off the bat that something about the kiss is "off," though not necessarily bad. He's kind of left wondering, "Huh? What the hell was that about?" asking himself why the kiss didn't mean more to him and why he couldn't bring more passion to the kiss, especially in light of the fact that he's not going to see El for a very long time. It's not the reaction of someone who just realized something about themselves, but the reaction of someone who realizes that something is just not quite right. Mike does not immediately realize he's gay, he's just like, "I wonder why I feel this way."

It's not until the kids are outside watching the Byers family leave that Mike is starting to put the pieces together. He's just had his final interaction with both Will and El for the time being. He's just said his goodbyes, and as he's watching the moving van drive away, he's realizing that his feelings about Will and El leaving are not what he expected them to be. "Will can come, too," is what he told El when El was talking about coming to visit over the holidays, but he's realizing that he didn't just invite Will to tag along as a third wheel to what would essentially be a romantic reunion between El and himself. He's realizing that Will is not secondary to his relationship with El and never has been. Will is the one he finds himself thinking about and pining for as he watches Will and El slip out of his life. Mike is the last party member to leave the Byers' residence, and we see him glancing back at the house, the place where he's shared so many memories with Will, and as he starts biking back to his own house, he realizes that he has a lot to contemplate and come to terms with on his ride there.

I believe he has the ACTUAL realization that he's gay on his bike ride home, once everything starts falling into place for him: El kissed him and he felt nothing. Will was the one he was thinking about as he watched the Byers family leave Hawkins; not El. He took one last good look at Will's house and realized that the most important and tender connection he has in his life is the relationship he has with Will: not the one he has with El.

And then, by the time he gets home, he's successfully figured out what it all means and he's in shock. Not only is he in shock, but he feels trapped now. Horrified of the implications of what this means for him, what it means for his relationship what his family, and what it means for his relationships with both Will and El, neither of which he will very easily be able to nurture or work on now that Will and El will be across the country from him. He's just discovered the most shocking, life-changing fact about himself--something that will change the trajectory of his life and will be a great source of suffering and oppression for him--and he's going to have to navigate it and figure it out all by himself, without any help, understanding, love or support from his own family, the Byers family, or his friends.

He hugs his mom and feels the weight of it all hitting him at once. He's thinking about how his mom may love him and want to be there for him now, in this moment, but there may come a time when she will no longer be there for him. He's realizing what this means for his relationships with El and Will. No doubt he feels a huge amount of responsibility to love and be there for El. El loves him and depends on him, and the fact that he's been there for her this entire time, he's already set the precedent for El herself, Hopper, and his own friends that he's going to be that for her: someone who loves and defends her. He feels the crushing guilt of knowing that he's going to let every single one of those people down by being gay. Of knowing that El loves and depends on him and that he can't love her back.

And then there's his relationship with Will, which he no doubt believes will be negatively affected by these newfound feelings. In his mind, Will is his best friend but also someone who is "normal" like the rest of the boys. Will may be a bit of a late bloomer, but he's going to grow up, start talking to girls, and have a girlfriend of his own soon enough. And Mike probably believes that from this point onward, his relationship with Will is going to be awkward, distant, and emotionally stunted by the fact that he's secretly in love with Will.

My poor BABY. I just can't even imagine the weight he must have felt once he realized he was gay and all of these crashing, painful realizations just slammed him all at once. In a matter of minutes, he realized he was going to be ostracized, alone, and a huge letdown to everyone in his life and that he'd have to face this all by himself.

[hannie-dul-set]

who in enhypen would agree to platonically kiss you.

because i feel like i have to do this for every group i write, so expect me to word vomit a tubatu version soon after this one.

seventeen ver. / 127 ver. / dream ver.

heeseung: honestly you thought he'd agree without a second thought, but a smirk suddenly plays on his lips and he pulls out the "what if i don't want to? what are you gonna do?" and you'd rather die than have him bask in your mortification, so you turn around. run away. try to run away, but the bitch suddenly pulls you into his lap and oh. you can feel his breath on your lips. his grip is firm on your waist. you're actually about to fucking kiss him BUT— "ah. sorry. i changed my mind." | rating: 0/10 but maybe if u change ur tune from platonic to romantic, then he'd agree.

jay: "can i think about it first?" jay isn't one to jump into hasty decisions, especially one that can permanently change the trajectory of your ten year long friendship for better or for worse just so you can make some hairless bitch jealous. he thinks about it. he's thinking. he's thinking very hard about it, until one day he finally says okay "okay" "? okay what?" "let's make out" "??? jay i asked u that favor five months ago what do u—" | rating: 5/10 delayed but u got him?? to kiss u??? but??? now u have a new problem because park jongseong, what are we?

jake: he knows you kissed him at the party last night to get ur cheating ex off ur ass. he knows that and he was totally, 100% completely fine with it. he can totally pretend like nothing happened. absolutely. just doing a friend a favor. a buddy. a pal. a good 'ol mate. that is until exactly one month passes by and he suddenly says "oh damn haha happy kissmonthsary babe u have any more exes to drive away hahaha just asking haha." | rating: 8/10 you're sure a kissmonthsary doesn't exist, but how can u deny him when he's twiddling his fingers like a schoolgirl with a first crush.

sunghoon: flustered flustered flustered "i'm sorry? haha i mean ofc u want to kiss me who wouldn't hahhahaha anw ur joking right—" you aren't. sunghoon starts sweating and he's nervous and about to piss himself because if he says no, you're gonna think he's a LOSER (you already know he's a loser) a big fucking LOSER (sunghoon, you are a loser). | rating: 3/10 on the first try because the moment your lips touched he turned into stone. he may be a loser but he's a prideful loser so expect his score to increase with each try at his insistence.

sunoo: "hey sunoo, i need ur help. can i ki—" cue his aggressive side eye. cue the absolute look of disgust on his face at the mere insinuation that you want to kiss him without strings attached. how dare you. | rating: 1/10 because you did get to kiss him in the end. you did. but before that you had to ask permission from his parents (heeseung and jake), you had to meet his actual parents, you had to exchange vows at the altar, and— wait this isn't exactly platonic anymore isn't it?

jungwon: jokes on u jungwon orchestrated the whole thing that'll lead you to asking him. he gave you a lipstick as birthday present and he's like "sorry haha i'm not sure if it's a good one the saleslady said it doesn't smudge but idk." there it goes. seed planted. all that's left is for you to ask him if he....wants to help u test it out.....yanno.....as friends. and before you know it the red tint is now smudged between your lips and his, smiling victoriously into your mouth because yes. his plan worked. | rating: 10/10 because you suddenly have a dozen new lip products and "hey. should we test if these also smudge or not?"

ni-ki: "oh sure. go ahead." he agrees to it SO easily that you suspicious, eyes narrowed, but you set it aside for now and lean closer to his face but WOOSH. he's swerved away. "riki stay still, what are u—" WHOOSH. he's five steps away. you see the look on his face. the shit eating grin saying, if you wanna kiss me, come and get it and oh it's on, nishimura. | rating: 2/10 because you end up chasing him all over the parking lot and jake asked if he can join your game of tag.

[tabithatwo]

i humbly request some of your jackienat thoughts at this time

I am humbly providing many many days after you asked!

Jackienat in canon: god I’ve talked about them at length before but there two as individuals are my little sweetie snookums lovebug angels (I love all the yellowjackets but god god god I love them); they are the two girls who I believe are the most invested in the team as a whole. I think they would’ve been amazing co-captains side note (not me suddenly considering writing a short little au something about them being captains together GOD). I think that it’s been said very well by many people, but they are so tethered. They want what’s best for all the girls, they love hard, and they do NOT get that energy in return enough. I don’t really understand why people come to the conclusion that they hated each other. I DEFINITELY don’t get why people come to the conclusion that they hated each other PRE crash, because there’s nothing negative show between them when we DO see other girls be bitchy to Nat and make fun of Jackie’s earnestness, but it’s never these two against each other. Nat is very vocally anti freeze her out, everyone knows innately that Jackie would be without even asking. I’ve spoken about their fight at length before, so without getting too far into that I will just say I think the way it escalates and gets so emotional and personal is very very telling. I don’t think they’ve fought before, Nat is clearly more emotional than when the other girls are cruel to her which I think means she didn’t expect it from Jackie, Nat hits back with a threat/fights back instead of brushing it off like she usually does. I think it’s fucking tragic that they fought and never got to reconcile, because they both are the type to hold guilt and sadness over that shit. Them teaming up at doomcoming against the crazy, the way Jackie would’ve lived if Nat were home for her and Shauna’s fight, the eulogy Nat gives Jackie when she takes her bones to the plane. They are just tragic and beautiful and we’re robbed of the chance to be truly close friends, because I really do think that’s the trajectory they were on.

Jackienat platonically: oh GOD do I love them. I can’t wait to explore their dynamic in we practice resurrection every night. I talked a lot about how I think they’d be close above but I also heavily hc that jackienat and shaunalottie each made out at least one party in high school respectively. They are so special to me. Sweet girls with huge hearts and very curated protective exteriors beloved beloved beloved.

Jackienat romantically: I love it so much. I am a jackieshauna and lottienat at heart (clearly lmao) but I LOVE them as a stop on the way to those endgames. I think they’d be surprisingly soft and sweet as a pairing and I think that they’d be able to help each other through the ummmm tougher times of shauna and lottie’s less than ideal behaviors lol. (I LOVE BOTH SHAUNA AND LOTTIE DEEPLY but they have some very rough tendencies that would be hard as their partner and I think some commitment issues/stumbling blocks to get to a healthy (healthy for yj) relationship status, just objectively lmao). Jackienat is hot and fun and kind and loving and the type of young dyke relationship that leads to really close lifelong friendship no one can ever change my mind on that <3 they should kiss <3

[the-power-of-stuff]

thoughts on the changes are to sukka in the live action?

Hi! Thank you so much for this ask! I love this ask, cuz after I watched "Warriors," I immediately went to a bunch of my mutuals screaming "GUYS I have SO MANY THOUGHTS" but I was reluctant to share beyond that group until you opened this door. <3

That said, I really have SO many thoughts. But I'll try to summarize for the purposes of this ask, and if you're interested in reading me rambling on in more detail for 2.5k words, I made a separate post about it here: https://www.tumblr.com/the-power-of-stuff/743357633226031104/the-live-action-sukka-manifesto-that-i-just

Spoilers below!

The more I sit with this episode, and the more I think back on the original, the more endeared I become to OG Sokka and Suki and their relationship from the animated show. I love sassy Suki. I love Sokka also being sassy but then showing us and Suki not only that he is very capable of growth and change, but how badly he desires those things for himself. His growth trajectory is not quite so broad in the live-action version, and thus his training with Suki is a bit less impactful story-wise.

That said, I did have a lot of fun with live-action Sukka. I'm not immune to the fan service they gave us, and I thought Suki's characterization was adorable. She's very different! I realized while writing the above-linked dissertation just how different. And I think her live-action personality fits for the changes that were made to the story and her environment—the fact that she's not a scrappy orphan, but rather the sheltered daughter of a fierce and protective fighter.

And I think I'm generally okay with this change because it made Sokka and Suki's interactions so delightful. There was so much awkward romantic tension, and it was the kind of stuff that Sukka shippers have been trying to squeeze into missing "Warriors of Kyoshi" scenes fic for the past 19 years (oof, that made me feel really old, sorry everyone).

I was disappointed that we didn't get to see Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform. Less disappointed than I would've been had I not seen the fight scenes in the trailer and noticed he was still in his regular clothes. I think that gave me time to set my expectations low. And actually, the thing I was most poised to be disappointed about was a thing that didn't happen. When I first saw the trailer, I noticed a moment where Suki steps in front of Sokka to block a fire blast, and I thought this was going to replace the moment where Sokka jumps in front of Suki to protect her from a fire blast.

And because I felt like that moment was so crucial for Sokka's character and his relationship with Suki, the idea that we weren't going to get it was more heartbreaking to me than the lack of Sokka in uniform. However...!

Lo and behold, they didn't take this moment away from us, and the instant I saw this on screen, all past transgressions were forgiven lol. Like, honestly, the relief I felt... And we still get to see him use a fan! Even if he's not in makeup.

I go into some more critical analysis in the link above, but overall, I enjoyed what we got from live-action Sukka because I'm a sucker for all the glances and touches and near-kisses. I'm a sucker for all the tenderness they showed to each other right before they went out and kicked firebender ass together. They feel different in a lot of ways from animated Sukka, but I thought it was an interesting interpretation!

And I have a lot of questions about what the changes to their interactions might mean for the future development of their relationship (for example, the fact that they've already had a proper first kiss, and what that means in terms of how Sokka will process his fear and guilt and his feelings for Suki after losing Yue). But I'm curious more than anything about how those things will be handled. And I think it'll be neat if we get to see it.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Hey would it be okay to ask about my sm? Anything that comes through really, personality, how we meet etc. 🩶

This is so interesting. I’m getting this strong message of stop trying to control things. Why are you asking how you meet? What does that change? If I told you you’re going to meet at a Walmart would you go there everyday to hope to meet them? What if that’s the problem, all the concessions and changes you are willing to make to yourself to fit some sort of ideal for another instead of being your full self and trusting that will bring the ideal person to you?

🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶 🩶

Hmmm I think spirit has been telling you for awhile to stop looking to your soulmate and knowledge about them to save you and to strengthen into the person who saves themself.

Message from soul family:

Hello my dear, what we have been called to do is very taxing and it’s important you get used to hardship and adversity, expect it and rejoice in the growth it leads to, change your perspective, (at first I thought this was your soulmate but actually I think it’s a matronly soul family member who is incarnate) While the meaning of everything comes down to love, so many of us get wrapped up in romantic love in our human forms. We forget how much the planet loves us, how much the oceans yearn to kiss us, how much the sun aches to touch us, we forget how much our bodies do for us, we walk around feeling a lack of love instead of seeing every breath as proof of love from our lungs. You look to your soulmate to generate love within you, but you are love, it doesn’t need to be generated, only recognized and shared. You’ve turned off your light to the world, you refuse to share your love and then ask where is my love? Have you forgotten. To receive love, you must first give it. Where can you be more loving in your day to day? Part of manifesting a kindred soul and partner is to fill your life with so much love that healthy high vibratory love can’t help but come to you. Become a beacon to love, draw love to you. Do this by showing love to everything.

Card Pull— Work Your Light Oracle

Trust Your Path— if you knew you’d be supported, what would you do?

Again this comes back to love and what I was saying earlier about control, trying to control outcomes by finding out information and changing yourself or your day to day actions to lead to a more likely outcome. Acting in love instead of outcome or expectation (head tingling)

I think there is something you love that you set aside because you think it doesn’t love you back, some passion or hobby, but you don’t love to be loved back, you love because you cannot help but love, because love is the only outcome and solution. Love has to exist. I think you need to trust that all is as it is meant to be and to move forward and change your trajectory you need to fill your life with more love and trust shows that you feel that love. Trust shows that you are living in love with the flow of the universe.

I hope some of this can be an insight that helps you on journey. Would love to know how or if this connects.

[hypermania]

Ok I'll bite should I watch Nancy Drew?

yes!! it's so much better than i expected it to be and the pilot is very strong! i binged the first three seasons in like a week and then immediately started a rewatch. it's not a perfect show by any means but it's definitely entertaining and easy. which, like, i don't know about you but i really needed that—something that would hold my attention but that wouldn't necessarily emotionally compromise me in a way that just leads to disappointment.

some selling points:

1.) the characters are not in high school. you may already know this but i did not so i was very pleasantly surprised to find it out. they basically did the exact thing i've been saying a lot of shows would benefit from which is to make the characters college-aged because having them be in high school does not serve the story in any way.

2.) nancy is the main character but it is largely an ensemble cast. all of the characters have their own lives and motivations. the story centers around nancy, but the characters do not. that's a hard line to walk and a lot of shows fail at it but this one does not.

3.) all of the characters have their own interpersonal dynamics and relationships with each other that make sense. in any given episode, the characters that are paired up is different and it's always good!

4.) the show does not get caught up in its own mythos or rules. this might sound like a criticism but i love it in this instance. the how is not important. does it matter that a tech billionaire shows up for one episode with all kinds of gadgets that are so futuristic they do not actually exist and if they did, they would realistically change the trajectory of the show? no. what matters is that nick kissed him fueling my bisexual hopes and dreams and also that his presence led to an important conversation about identity between several characters of color.

5.) the romantic pairings actually have more mileage on rewatch. i knew what the major fandom ship was before going into it so i was prepared for it to go there eventually but i was not at all expecting the route it took. tbh i was lukewarm on all of the relationships/pairings the first time around, which really just meant that i was not upset when any particular thing happened, but now that i'm rewatching it, i'm actually finding the two main pairings so much more rewarding??? i'm picking up on things i didn't notice before (even with the knowledge i had before going into it). they really were laying groundwork for both of them right from the pilot. so, high rewatch value is what i'm saying!

6.) scott wolf.

7.) scott wolf wearing bailey salinger's letterman jacket and riley smith wearing a motocross shirt.

tl;dr yes you should watch it

[letswrites]

what about feeling homesickness and Calum comforting her?

thaxxx! i changed a bit, hope you like ❤

Home

He was standing in front of her house, it's was a fresh end of the afternoon in LA, with a cool wind and a pink-shaded sunset. He had a cigarette between his fingers in one hand and the other one was resting at his side after he knocked on the door. She opened and locked it with her key "night" he checked his iPhone '5:57 pm' "almost night. And you are gorgeous. As always" "thanks, you are too" she directed her gaze to the cigarette quickly, but not quickly as he dropped it onto the ground and stubbed his foot in it. She hated when he smoked. "thought you were going to quit" "I will" "yeah and I will fly away from this damn city" "what is wrong with LA?" "It isn't home" he knew she missed her hometown, Milwaukee, and he also knew she had duties in LA and she knew that too "babe..." "It's alright" she breathed deeply before look at her boyfriend and smile "thought we were going, huh?" "Yeah, sure, let's go" "let's go" he took her hand in his empty one and they walked to her car. She had a glowing conversible candy apple red 1966 Ford Mustang that Calum was never allowed to drive "why I cannot drive?" "You know why" "oh, come on. It's old shit, honey" "no! Almost kill me isn't 'old shit'" "was an accident and you just broke an ankle" "A leg" she sat on the driver's seat and he watched how good she looked in the sunset "hey!" She snapped her fingers "aren't you coming in?" "fuck! Sorry. it's your fault!" he jumped into the car and put on the seat belt "I will not apologize for you having a terrible sense of beauty" she had low self-esteem sometimes "my sense of beauty is perfect" he leaned closer and cupped her face "just as you" "you are perfect" she smiled and pulled his neck to a passionate kiss. A calm and warm, but passionate kiss "but, seriously babe, let me drive" "no!" she turned on the engine, adjusted the mirror and backed up the car from the driveway without taking her gaze from the mirrors "that's how you back up the car with safety" he groaned, throwing his head back "It happened once! And it was an accident" "I know, just recalling" she winked and made the way for the downtown.

Last year, before they started dating, she asked Calum to back the car out of the driveway, but he did it without looking in the mirrors, according to himself "who the fuck know the right side of pen drives?" and ran over her. Accidently, of course. For luck, she just broke a leg and he took care of her, and due it, they become closer. "You know, there're some bad things that happen for good reasons" "I thought we were done with this subject" he squeezed her right hand "if I haven't given all my attention to the damn pen drive and ran over you, maybe we'd not become closer as we did" "yeah... fine, I will let you drive" she parked the car left the driver's seat "move on, Cal!" he stood up and gave her a deep and quick kiss before sat down in the driver seat and squeeze the beige leather steering wheel "I love you" "love you too, but now I'm fucking dying to know where we're going" "you were driving and I have to know?!" "yes, Mr. driver" she teased, he giggled "fine. Know a place" "good".

*

They were on a road that she didn't recognize "Calum" "my name" he loved when she said his name "where are we going?" "It's a surprise" "oh no. Please, don't do this to me" "sorry, babe. I didn't make the rules" "which rules?" they laughed together "okay" she turned on the radio and tried to connect with some decent station "fuck" "you know you can use your pen drive, right?" she had taken the pen drive off the car "not with you in the wheel" you know, just for caution. he rolled his eyes and she finally connected with some Latin radio station

'Once de la noche y todavía no contesta'

'Un de la mañana y todavía no hay respuesta'

"Oh, no! No way!" "What?" "I am not bilingual like you" "and...?" "Not listening to something I do not understand" "so are you graduated in Korean now?" "No..."

'Cómo hacerte entender...'

he swallowed dryly a little "don't know what are you talking about" "no? What about that time you got drunk and sang out loud BTS's songs, huh?" "Only the English parts! Now just change it" "but it's Maluma!" he looked at her without blinking and pouted "fine" he smiled like a kid

'... eres muy bonita pa' llorar por el...'

She changed the radio station once more and found a random one

'Day to night to morning, keep with me in the moment

I’d let you had I known it, why don’t you say so?'

"You got to be kidding me" she giggled "I hate this song!" "I know" she kept laughing

'You got to keep me focused, you want it? Say so'

"Just turned it off" "oh, but I like it" Calum turned off the radio "no songs for you" "hey, that's my car! Spent lots of money on it" "But I am driving" "don't make me feel more regret than I already am" he laughed and leaned quickly to kiss her cheek "hey, Cal" "hum?" "I am bored" "you're acting like a fucking kid" "no. I am a fucking kid" "well, it's not a long ride. We'll be there soon" "where is 'there'?" "Nice try, nice try" she pouted and laid her head on the window so she could stargaze and think about how lucky she is to had been run over by the man driving at her side. She was so so in love with him.

*

Flashback:

Some friends had texted her. Bon Jovi was going to be in town and they have two tickets more. They gave it to her of course expecting she'd invite that guy she hanged out a few times, definitely her new crush. Calum. Such a beautiful name 'thanks Roy' he had introduced them. For some miracle, she got the guts to invite him.

[4:28pm]

'Be here at 6pm'

[5:17pm]

'Your place is so far from where I am now'

'You can drive my car'

'will be there in 40 minutes'

She grinned, shook her head lightly and blocked her phone to finish her makeup 'he will never desire me' she thought even knowing she will try to impress him anyways. Was 5:55pm when he arrived "I have exactly 2 minutes in advantage" "you made it, next time I will let you have a rest" "thanks" he pecked her cheek out of breath "are you ok?" "Yes, you are just breathtaking" he laughed "oh, I am not" "yes, you're. Always" she blushed "thanks" "you're welcome. Can I have a glass of water? The bus stop is far from here, you know?" "Yeah, sure come in". She gave him a glass of water and dropped on the sofa "thanks" "how can I refuse water for someone? Especially someone like you" he arched an eyebrown "someone like me?" "Yeah" "how is someone like me?" he dropped next to her "ridiculously healthy" "oh" he giggled "thanks. I really appreciate" "so, where were you?" "someone is interested in where I was" he teased, she rolled er eyes "you love annoy me, don't you?" "And you still have to ask? Anyhow, I was hanging with a friend" "'hanging with a friend' means banging with a girl?" "What?!" He started laughing "are you jealous or something?" "No..." She blushed "just trying to know you better" "so why are you blushing?" "I..." "Relax, I was with Luke. He is planning a trip to our home country with Ash and Mikey too. So we went out to lunch, but he lives far from here..." her body relaxed and she smiled "Australia is very nice" "is the best place in the world" "yeah, except the fact that is not Minnesota" he laughed "keep dreaming, kid" "I am two months older than you" "whatever, ms. jealousy" "'m not jealous!" "you looked so relieved when I said I was with Luke" "I didn't" "it's ok, I already admitted to myself that my love life is a joke anyways" "I bet it's not true" "trust me, it is" "thought you were the kind of guy that spent the night in 3 parties and in this 3 parties, hook up with at least 2 girls. At the same time" he laughed out loud "oh, honey, I used to be that guy, and now I am feeling very proud of myself" she giggled "why you are not that guy anymore?" He cleaned his throat "well, I met this lady, some months ago, and now all I do is think on her. I made out with someone a few days ago and couldn't finish the job, because was thinking on her" 'wow that hurted' "wow... You should be with this girl right now, not with me" he looked at her, 'unfreakingbelievable' "I literally made an hour and a half trajectory in 40 minutes to go in a concert just to be in your company cause' honestly I am not going to this concert because I want to see old Jon Bon Jovi sing 'bed of roses' and take ladies to Heaven..." she giggled "why do you think I did that?" "'Cause you're an idiot" he grinned "you are right, I should be with the my romantic interest" she frowned a little and they just stayed looking inside each other's eyes for a minute "I-I think we should go" it felt like he raped her with his gaze "are you ok?" "I dunno" "alright, tell me if you will need an ambulance" "okay" "so, where is that bad boy keys?" she chuckled "here" she gave to Calum the key "please, be careful" "my middle name is safety" "really? I thought was Tomas" "details, details". They were on the driveway ready to go when she saw Ginger, her cat, with the paw stuck in the water drainage grid "oh! wait a minute" she left the car "what's wrong?" "My cat. you can back the car while I help Ginger?" "no problem. Am I allowed to listen some music, too?" "Sure. The pen drive is in the glove compartment" "'kay". she ran to Ginger to help her little baby "my God, love, I am here" Calum grabbed the pen drive in the glove compartment and started back the car slowly without looking in the mirrors "well, it's done, Ginger. You are free now" she freed her cat that ran back to the roof. Calum was fighting with the pen drive's USB entrance "why I never put that shit on the right side?" and he forgot that he was backing the car. She turned to went back to the car or they would be late and all she could see was the car's trunk colliding with her hip. When he stopped the

car she was already on the floor. She definitely needed that ambulance now.

He took her to the hospital and then back to her place. He locked the front door and she dropped onto the sofa, now with a broken leg "that was the last time you drove my car" "you're sure?" he joined her on the sofa "you will need someone to help you during the next two weeks" "I have other friends..." "So we are still friends?" "Yes" "I am sorry for ran over you" "yeah, be mad with you will not change what happened" "it's because of this that I will be the one who will take care of you. Remember? My middle name is carefulness" "Wasn't safety?" "Is a long full name, see? Calum Safety-Careful Tomas Hood" "hum, I don't think so" they laughed "sorry, again" "stop apologizing and start looking for a driver costume" "I will not do that" "why not? Would be so sexy" she bit her bottom lip "you think?" "You are already sexy so..." "I'm" they laughed "okay, you don't need a costume, but I will need help in the shower, instead" "I will love to help you with the shower" "I was thinking in call Roy" "call Roy?!" he looked a little angry "you should see your face. And I am the jealous one here" "well, I just maybe, just very very maybe am into you" she smiled and blushed a little "I am into you too" "you are saying that only because do not get turned on by Jon Bon Jovi tonight" she laughed "And you are saying this only because you ran over my leg" he turned his grin to a line "No. I really mean it" "me too" she bit her bottom lip and he smiled again "but… unfortunately, you are not literally into me" "not for too long" soon the distance between them became minimum and in a blink of eye, they kissed. They kissed like already did that for years, like their lips met each other already before, even being the first time. Calum laid her back on the sofa and things started to get hotter, soon her Bon Jovi's tank top flew across the living room. She broke the kiss "what are you doing?" "I am trying to make up, because of the concert. Do you mind?" she smiled "you really know how to fix up the things" and they kissed again, now his black tee was off and...

*

"Honey, 're you alright?" Calum took her off the flashback "oh, yes. Was thinking in the first time we fucked" he laughed "so delicate" "sorry, the first time we 'made love'" "uh, that was bad" she laughed "thanks for ran over me, by the way" "only you for thanks the idiot that ran over you" "well, you are an idiot, but you are my idiot" "possessive" but he was hers and he loved that "oh, shut up" he laughed "so, was thinking in the week after your leg was better, huh?" "That wasn't the first time we fucked" "It was" "no, we fucked after you took me home in the night it happened" "no, no. I fucked you that night and I thought we had fucked, but three weeks later I discovered that I was wrong" "I am not..." "The way you move, babe, when you were with the broken leg wasn't sex with you, was sex for you" she laughed "It should be a compliment?" "Yes. And a good one" "well, in that case, thank you very much" she directed her gaze back to the sky and he looked at her, he was so in love

*

About 30 minutes later, Calum was taking the exit on the road to Santa Monica, she had read that in a sign. "Santa Monica!" "yup" "the pier?" "Yes" "oh, you know I love a pier, is…" "…so romantic" she laughed at him pretending to be her "but, we are not here specifically because of the pier" "so why?" "You will see" "please, stop. It's killing me" "oh, you're such a drama queen" he parked the car and turned off the engine "let's go". He tugged her to the amusement park "that's so exciting! what are we gonna do?" "fucking kid" she giggled "we'll play hockey" "what?!" he guided her to the Playland Arcade "that's..." she was confused that couldn't even talk "there's a lot..." "air hockey tables? yes" "but..." "Look, I know that do not have ice and is not real hockey, but I thought you'd enjoy" he rubbed the side of his neck "hockey remembers you home, right?" she had some water on her eyes and a true smile "I would like everything since it came from you" he smiled and flipped the disk "so, let's see if the Milwaukee girl still in flames" "you definitely know nothing about Winsconsin"

*

She won, of course "Badgers rocked your ass Aussie boy!" as she said, and they decided to rest on the pier, her head on his shoulder and his arm around her body "that was lovely" "me losing or your very kind comment about it?" she giggled "no. You remembered the air hockey here and tried to diminish my homesickness" "I understand how bad it is" "thank you" "no, thank you" "for what?" "To be with me, to love me, I was taking the wrong way before met you, you know?" "Well, shout out to Roy" "shout out to Roy" he repeated and they laughed "I was thinking in buy a ticket for you. To go home for a few days..." she looked into his eyes "what do you think?" "don't" she said smoothly "you sure? I have been saving money to paying the first tax to a car mortgage, but it can wait..." "No, Cal. Buy your car" "but you miss home" "yes, I miss it, but..." she cupped his face "I have you here and I realized... my home is you" he smiled and dipped to kiss her. She rested her head back on his shoulder and watched the moonlight reflecting in the ocean "and you are mine" he whispered against her hair. she smiled and enjoyed his company, she was so in love with him and he was so in love with her.

suggested playlist:

[aurorawest]

Aaand What are your top 5 Loki moments in your own writing? :D

Ok this was REALLY hard, but in a fun way!! So thank you for asking! I thought a while about how to approach choosing the moments, since I have soooo much unposted writing, and 98% of it is inside Loki’s head, so in some ways it’s hard to sort of isolate moments. So I tried to choose things that would make for a good scene in a movie. I have a pretty cinematic style anyway, I think, so I think that works out pretty well. I only pulled from my posted fic to narrow things down for myself a bit, haha.

These aren’t necessarily what I think are the best written parts of my fics, but there some of my favorite moments. Not like I think they’re poorly written, but like, my top five best writing moments would be a different list.

5. Loki loses his shit at Strange in Sleight of Hand

A shockwave of raw, screaming hurt and frustration and rage rolled off him, slamming into everything in the room, shattering glass and wood and flinging the lighter furniture back. Strange grabbed the arms of his chair, looking alarmed as it rocked backwards, and then he waved his hands in the air. Orange symbols flowed from them, flaring, and then dissipated. Anything that was still airborne stopped, suspended above the ground, before Strange flicked a hand and reversed his belongings’ trajectories.

Loki’s chest was heaving. He hated himself for losing control. He hated Strange for making him lose control. Do you think, he wanted to say, to snarl, to scream, that I don’t know my brother doesn’t need me?

After everything settled into place, Strange looked at him and said dryly, “Looks like I hit a sore spot.”

The daggers came out, appearing in Loki’s hands as though he’d grabbed them from thin air. And what? What was he going to do? Pointing with one blade, his teeth bared in anger, he growled, “Shut. Up.” His fingers clenched around the hilt of the dagger and he said, his voice shaking with fury, “I would rather be trapped in your pocket universe, falling into infinite blackness, then have to look at your insufferable face and listen to your smug, sanctimonious, pedantic explanations about why I’m here for one—more—SECOND.”

4. Loki, Strange, Jane, and Wong hang out at the Sanctum in The Real Asgardians of the Galaxy

But Strange—Strange could dance. Loki could tell by the way he moved his hips, even though he was doing something absurd with his arms, some kind of chugging motion that made Loki snort.

And that made Strange shoot a look over his shoulder, his smile growing wider. What could Loki do but smile back?

3. Loki breaks Strange’s heart for like the twentieth time (at least) in far away from here and closer to somewhere else

Another few seconds of silence passed, and then, Strange said slowly, “Truth.”

Oh.

Loki had assumed he would choose dare. Dare was easy. Loki would have dared him to do something stupid, like create a barbershop quartet composed of himself and invite the Avengers and their new young acolytes to a special performance.

But truth? Oh, he wanted to ask, is that something you want to talk about? The truth? Which he supposed would have been a question that Strange could have told the truth in response to, and Loki could call it done, but…even that felt like opening a box he didn’t want to open.

Questions flickered through his mind. Impossible questions. Does the way you look at me sometimes mean anything? Do you even like men? Do you find me attractive? Do you want to kiss me? Do you know what a spectacularly bad idea that is? Do you understand why I can’t?

He was so drunk. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, he clearly couldn’t drink this much, ugh, no, not around Strange, not when it was so hot and it had been so long since he’d had—since he’d been with—since he’d had any kind of romantic partner except his own hand.

That thought made him giggle a little. He had made supremely poor choices today. He was just sensible enough not to make another one.

Strange was staring at him. There was an odd look on his face. Loki couldn’t identify it.

But if he had to, he’d call it…expectant. No.

Hopeful.

Loki’s fingers curled into fists and he asked, “How did you and Wong meet?”

The change on Strange’s face was subtle. Nearly imperceptible. Loki was surprised he was able to detect it, considering the state he was in. The hope, if that was even what it had been, dropped away, replaced by…resignation.

2. Loki and Thor reunite in The Real Asgardians of the Galaxy

When she pushed her way into Thor’s tent, her brother was trimming his beard with a ridiculously small pair of scissors and a tiny, dirty mirror. His eyes met Loki’s in the mirror and he almost stabbed the scissors into his face. “Um,” he said, turning around, fumbling with the mirror, and getting to his feet. He dropped the scissors on the floor, bent to pick them up, then added, “Hello. Uh, I didn’t ask for…I think you’re in the wrong tent—”

Loki wanted to hug him but instead, with a flick of her fingers, she transformed to her male form. “It’s me, for heaven’s sake,” he hissed. “Honestly, do you really think tales of your physical prowess have spread so far that women on planets you’ve never even heard of are lining up to throw themselves at you?” In an aggrieved tone, he added, “Anyway, I would have thought you’d recognize me; we haven’t been apart that long.”

There was a long, long silence. Thor stared at him.

“Hello, brother,” Loki added, in case this had been too biting of a greeting.

“Loki?” Thor asked incredulously.

“It looks that way. Doesn’t it? Give me that mirror.”

Thor ignored this. “How did you get here? How did you find me?”

“Ground transport,” Loki said, knowing full well this wasn’t what Thor meant. “And brother, I listen. I hear things. That’s why people say I’m the smart one.” He arched an eyebrow. “I know you said you’d find me, but I got tired of waiting.”

1. Loki finally proposes to Stephen after 9 chapters of dicking around in Will you be my festar-man? Love and courtship in the New Asgardian court (or, How Loki Stopped Worrying and Proposed to Stephen Strange)

He closed the distance between himself and Stephen and took Stephen’s hand. For a moment, he stared at it, running his thumb over the scars. He’d always found Stephen’s scars beautiful, in their way—what they stood for, and the fact that he wore his damage so outwardly, when Loki had always been terrified to show so much as a hint of his. Stephen’s bravery manifested itself in so many ways; he was, bar none, the bravest man that Loki had ever known. But sometimes he thought Stephen had been too brave to take a chance on Loki, to believe in him all these years.

His eyes flicked up to meet Stephen’s. He had the most beautiful eyes, the kind of eyes you could stare at for a lifetime and never tire of getting lost in.

Loki drew in a slow breath. “Stephen Strange, will you marry me?”

Haha well they were...mostly Loki/Stephen related. Probably not terribly surprising.

Thank you again!!

[eviearie]

All I Want for Christmas is to Not Be Poisoned By Your Cooking

Happy Holidays (and happy new year) @stormypaint ! This is a gift for the @sanderssidesgiftxchange, in which the sides are fluffy idiots and I think I accidentally roast myself. I had a lot of fun writing this. Hope you enjoy! (Additional note: I got 2 of the wishes down. I tried to put angst in here but—it did not work. At all). 

Pairings: Platonic DLAMPR 

Word Count: 2574

Warnings: lots of bickering, 1 swear word, it looks like Remus might accidentally kill someone at one point but it’s all good 

Summary: It’s the solstice, and the sides are finally getting around to getting in the Christmas spirit. Decorating, baking, gift exchanging, and of course, playful bickering— what more could Janus ask for?

Read on Ao3 here

-- -- --

Janus lounged on a chair in the common room, sipping his… soup as the other sides worked around him. Roman was hanging stockings above the fireplace, Logan was putting ornaments on the tree, and Virgil was sitting on top of the couch with a cup of hot cocoa made by Patton, who was in the kitchen with Remus. The outcome of that should prove to be interesting. 

Janus got up off the chair and walked to the kitchen, the sounds of playful bickering and crackling fire lightening the area behind him. He walked into the kitchen, bracing internally for whatever horrible sight he was about to see. 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t actually too bad.

Patton was kneeling down by the oven, watching whatever abomination was surrounded by the warm yellow light illuminating it. Remus was— well, it looked like he was attempting to stir something in a pot, but it wasn’t going very well. 

“Do you need some help?” Janus asked, raising a brow as he approached Remus, who was covered in chocolate. 

Remus exhaled, “No duh, Snakespeare,” he said. “I’m fudging the fudge!” 

Patton giggled from the oven. Janus looked unimpressed. 

“Don’t give me that,” he said, taking the pot from the other side and vigorously mixing the glossy chocolate in the pot with ease. 

“Damn Jan, those snake arm muscles are buff,” Remus commented as he recovered. 

“Hours in the kitchen with Patton will do that to you, especially when those first batches are always in perfect condition,” Janus said with a glace over at Patton. 

The oven alarm went off with a little tune. “Cookies are ready!” Patton exclaimed, grabbing a pair of oven mitts from the counter and opening the oven. Janus was surprised to find that the smell wafting from it was actually pleasant. 

 "Yes!" Remus cheered, skipping over to bask in the presence of those cookies. "Can we eat them now?" 

"They do look good," Janus commented with faux surprise in his voice. Patton gave him the Dad Look™. You know, the one with the oven-mitted hands on hips and the (quote-unquote)  disappointment in the eyes. That one. 

“Of course they do, kiddo,” Patton chided. Janus just lifted a cookie off the still-hot tray, biting into the soft warm dough. It’s okay, Remus already had already stuffed several in his mouth. 

Wow. “Not bad.” 

“Whoo! We did it pops! We got props from the second harshest critic here!” Remus exclaimed, holding a hand up to Patton for a high five, which would have been accepted if not for the fact that the latter was still holding the hot pan of cookies. 

“Third,” Janus corrected. “As long as one’s own work counts, Roman goes before me.”

“I heard that!” Came a call from the other room. 

“Hey! Don’t eat all of them!” Patton scolded Remus, holding the pan up to get it out of the other side’s radius and holding back a smile from his face. “They’ve got to be frosted first.”

“Oh, joy,” Janus said while Remus cheered. “This better be a repeat of the Easter fiasco.”

“I think we all learned from that,” Patton said as he set the pan down. 

Janus wasn’t convinced, but he let it slide anyway. Tis the season, right? 

“But first, we should probably clean up,” the moral side continued. 

“Yes, because it looks terrible in here—” Janus started, before Patton nodded behind him. Janus turned around. 

“Oh.” Yep, that was terrible indeed. Remus must have gone full rat mode in the flour, or something. Janus really hoped that was food coloring, too, and not blood. 

“I’m gonna leave you two to that,” Janus said, backing away slowly, “and make sure Virgil doesn’t come in here.”

“Thanks Jan, love ya kiddo!” Patton called before Janus closed the kitchen door with a small sigh. 

“Janus. We need your help,” Roman said with a very serious tone in his voice. 

"What is it?" Janus asked with a sigh. 

"Roman thinks that—" 

"I think that," Roman started, interrupting Logan, “we shouldn’t hang the mistletoe ornament up on the tree, and instead hang it over the doorway.”

“First of all, I’ve already told him this is holly, not mistletoe—”

“It’s what it’s supposed to be!”

“Mistletoe is white!” Logan near screeched. 

“It’s true, mistletoe isn’t white,” Janus added. 

“I’ll just change it then!” Roman exclaimed with an exasperated tone as he waved a hand, the berries on the holly in Logan’s hand changing from a bright red to a hazy white. 

Logan looked satisfied. “Second, it’s an ornament for the tree. It should go on the tree. You can conjure up a real mistletoe if you wanted, although the whole idea of hanging one up for romantic purposes is rather silly.”

Roman harrumphed. “But what’s the point of having it on the tree?”

“There is no point, it’s for decoration. Did you not hear what I just said about the purpose being quite—”

“It’s romantic, Logan!” Roman said with a dramatic flair, spinning around and fake fainting towards Logan. The dark blue side quickly

 caught him with his free arm. 

“Can’t argue with that logic,” Janus commented. 

“I could,” Logan retaliated. 

“Oh my god guys, just hang the damn mistletoe up,” Virgil groaned from the couch. 

"But we haven't resolved-" 

"Roman. Make a new mistletoe. Like this," Virgil said, leaning forward to show a picture of a rounded ball of mistletoe. 

Roman pouted his lips but conjured up something. 

"Great. Now hang it up in the kitchen doorway like you wanted," continued Virgil. 

Roman did so. 

"Now it's resolved," said Virgil, relaxing again. 

"Terrible job Virgil," said Janus. The anxious side just rolled his eyes. 

Soon Patton and Remus came walking out of the kitchen, Remus kicking something from his fingers and Patton dusting off flour from the bottom of his shirt. 

Roman perked up from his place on the couch, where he had sat. "Hah! You two are under the mistletoe!" He exclaimed. 

"Aww, you hung up mistletoe, that's sweet," Patton commented before giving Remus an honorary kiss on the forehead. 

"Is it sweet-?" Logan started. 

"Shut your yap Sherlock," Remus cut in. 

Janus patted Logan's head as the latter crossed his arms. 

"Are the cookies ready?" asked Roman. 

"-And are they intact, not soggy, not burnt, not poisoned, and do they actually taste good?" asked Virgil. 

"Yep!"  Patton chimed, walking up and plopping himself down on the floor near the tree. 

Virgil didn't look convinced. 

"Do worry Virgil, I've seen them and they look absolutely horrible," said Janus. Virgil looked horrified only for a split second before understanding, immediately seeming much more relaxed and relieved. 

"Did you follow the recipe I gave you?" Logan asked. 

"We did!" replied Remus, who was draped over the coach next to Virgil. "At least the third time we made them." 

"Trust me, these cookies are gonna be dadlicious," Patton said. 

"That one wasn't even good." 

"I'm not on my b—a—ke game today." 

"Oh god." 

"Either way, these ginger-dad cookies are going to be a gift to us all." 

"Really? Dad again?" 

Patton shrugged, smiling. 

"Speaking of gifts—" Janus started, "I have a question for you all." 

"What's the question?" asked Patton. 

"That is the question," added Virgil.  

"'That' is not a question,” said Logan. “‘That' is a word used most commonly to refer to an object or idea." 

Roman sat up. "Oh, it's not just used to refer to an object! I refer to Remus as 'that' too.”  

(Remus was unfazed, as to be expected). 

“The question,” Janus started, again, “is when you all want to do gift exchanges this year.”

“Let’s do it now!” Patton exclaimed enthusiastically. 

“Patton, it’s December 21st. While I do agree that the solstice is a beautiful thing to celebrate, Christmas isn’t for 4 days.” 

“3 days,” chorused Virgil, Remus, and Roman simultaneously. 

“Don’t question my counting methods.”

“Well, we can do some now, right? We’ve done so much work today, decorating and baking, it would be a fun treat!”

“I can’t argue with that,” said Janus. 

Judging from the lack of bickering, it didn’t seem like anyone else could either. 

"Yay!" Patton exclaimed. "Let's do our secret Santa gifts. I'll go first!" 

The group had decided to do a secret gift exchange between all of them that year-- but some sides (Patton especially) wanted to give gifts to everyone anyways. So there would be more gifts coming on Christmas day. 

"I had Logan," said Patton, passing a gift to the logical side, "so I got him a book!" 

"A book, how practical of you-" Logan started, although he cut off as soon as he saw what book it was." 

"A book of dad jokes!" Patton said, beaming. 

Logan sighed to himself as he opened the book up. "An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. They go out into the  hallway and see a fire, so they fill a trash can from his room with water and douse the fire. They go back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. They walk down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etcetera, they extinguish the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed." 

"Why did you pick the longest joke you could find?" Virgil complained. 

"I'm just hearing a bunch of math words," said Remus. 

"Later," Logan continues without a glance up, "the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. They go into the hall, see the fire, and the fire hose. They think for a moment, then exclaim, 'Ah, a solution exists!'. Then they go back to bed." 

Silence. Only silence was in the room. 

"That was actually really funny," said Logan, closing the book. 

"Gimme that," said Remus, stretching over the top of the couch to snatch the book from Logan. 

"Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3s and 5s?" read Remus, who then looked around for a response. 

"I don't know, why?" asked Patton. 

"Because they can't even." 

Virgil snickered at that. From the others came "That was a pretty good joke" and "yeah that makes sense" and another laugh. 

"Oh, there's also a gift card in there for you," added Patton. 

Logan lifted up the Amazon gift card. "Thank you, Patton," he said, before setting his gifts aside. "I had Janus as my giftee." 

"Oh goodie," said Janus. It was unclear even to him if he was being sarcastic or not. (He wasn't). 

"I got you a book as well. Marcus Aurelius," Logan said as Janus opened his gift. 

"Is that the 'breed quails for fighting' guy?" Remus asked excitedly. 

Logan put his hand against his head. "Yes, but he also made many other significant points-" 

"I want to breed quails for fighting." 

"Actually Marcus Aurelius suggested against that—" 

"Thank you, Logan, This will be a great addition to my collection. And that's the truth," said Janus, putting another argument on hold. 

Logan smiled, because yes, it was. 

"Well, I had Virgil," Janus said, glancing over at the anxious side.

"Let's get this over with," said Virgil, reaching for his gift. 

"I got you a new pair of headphones, since your old ones broke-" 

"Sorry about that again," said the twins at the same time. 

"-And I also got you some new eyeshadow. You're welcome." 

"Thank you," said Virgil, just a hint of surprise in his voice as he looked down at his gifts. 

"Et toi?" 

"Uh, I had Roman. Here, take your gift," said Virgil, handing a bag to Roman, who accepted it graciously. "I got you some makeup and slippers. Nothing much." 

"Oh my gosh Virgil I love them!!! They're so on brand!" Roman exclaimed, his voice ringing with life throughout the mindscape. Virgil cringed, but smiled back with a thumbs-up as he recovered. 

“Sadly, I had Remus,” Roman says, although his smile was still prominent as he set his gift to the side. 

“Oooh goodie,” Remus replies with a grin, picking up his own gift. 

“How dare you steal the phrase I just used,” Janus commented. 

“Just open the thing already,” Roman said to Remus. 

Remus did so. “Gasp, a sword! With holographic green and an octopus hilt??”

“I know, it’s great,” Roman started. Janus could hear Virgil whisper “How did he pull that whole thing out of that tiny bag?” to Logan. 

“Thanks bro!” Remus exclaimed. Virgil leaned over from his spot on the couch and held on to the closest side he could find—Janus—in order to avoid Remus’ slashing radius. 

“Okay, take it easy on the sword swinging,” Janus said, putting a careful hand on Remus’ shoulder. 

Remus lowered his sword with an apologetic grin. “And I got you, pops!” he said, looking over at Patton. “Your gift is there. Even though our amazing cooking is a gift in itself!”

“It is,” Patton says whilst picking up his gift, opening the box it was wrapped in. 

The moral side peered into the box. “Oh my gosh!!” he squealed. 

“It’s a puppy!” Remus exclaimed. 

“Oh no,” Logan, Virgil, and Janus said simultaneously. 

The dark grey and curly-furred puppy looked up at Patton with adorable eyes, and Patton started it down with adoration. “I. Love. You.” 

“I love you too Pat,” said Remus. 

“I think he was talking to the puppy,” Roman cut in, although he was also looking adoringly at the small dog. 

“Yes. But I also love you, Remus!” Patton said, beaming as the dog jumped into his arms. 

“Well, that was enjoyable,” Janus commented as Logan tried to talk Patton out of whatever adorable thing he was trying to do with this puppy that would probably miraculously disappear tomorrow. Give it a week, at most. 

"Yeah— this year has been rough. And I don't even know what year it is!" said Roman, who was putting his slippers from Virgil on. 

“I love you guys,” said Virgil, so casually it would have shaken the room in any situation where Patton and Remus weren’t occupied with lovingly staring down an adorable puppy and the rest of them weren’t occupied with watching them. 

“I love you too!” replied Roman, which was then followed by an “And I as well” from Logan, and a “Not me” from Janus himself, and “Same” chorusing from Patton and Remus, still occupied with the puppy.

“You should really do something with that puppy, though,” Janus said at Patton. “Before he ruins anything.”

“You think an angel with this face would destroy?” Patton asked with a coo, holding up the puppy for Janus to see. 

“It is Remus’ creation, so, yes,” Janus said. 

“That’s fair,” replied Remus, right as the puppy jumped out of Patton’s arms and bounded over to the tree (scarily, as Virgil would say). 

“I’ll go put him in my room,” the dad side said before any disaster could strike, scooping the puppy in his arms and sinking out, returning soon after. “Should we frost cookies then?” he asked, smiling at the group with a—not signature, because this one was real—grin. 

“Oh no,” said Logan and Virgil simultaneously. 

“Oh yes,” the twins chimed together. 

So with a trip to the kitchen, as well as many creative ways of avoiding the newly-hanged mistletoe, the sides frosted their Christmas cookies. And, well— 

It may not have been as much of a fiasco as Easter, but it wasn’t pretty either.

It’s the Sanders sides. What would you expect?

[howggswouldreact]

💻 Co-workers | Jiu

Request: hi can i request a dreamcatcher jiu scenario where she is stuck with her co worker (also her long time crush) in an elevator for hours.

Plot: Reader and (a very shy) Jiu have been colleague workers for almost 3 years. Reader, the one Jiu has a big crush on, decides to make her company because she was overtime working alone. But when they are leaving the building, the elevator suddenly stops.

Words: 3,471

Genre: fluff, alternative universe

Notes: I had so much fun writing this one... i hope you enjoy it as much as i did.

It was after 8PM when you started turning off the computer. You were tired, it was a Friday night and you probably just wanted to go back to your apartment and lie in your bed to get the rest you deserved; the week had been very busy.

Minji was watching you sideways as you pressed the button on the monitor. She had gotten good at it, watching you without being noticed. She could put the credit for that luck on her desk, which was attached to yours. But she rarely saw your face from the front, only in profile. And it was the best view she had ever seen.

Almost 3 years ago, you were the new hired. Before you, there was only one quiet old man who ended up retiring. The change was so sudden and Minji felt it deep in her heart, as soon as you passed through the glass door of the company. Whatever it was, she wouldn't call it love. A slight crush, perhaps.

“A crush doesn't last three years, Minji. Three. Years.”, said Bora, her best friend, every time Minji commented about you without being asked.

Bora didn't care if Minji talked about you for three years. It was cute. She only got irritated because Minji didn't even have an attitude. But what could she do? Just receiving your gaze every time you arrived in the morning made her body heat up as if it was burning up. And when you hummed a song while typing on your computer, she smiled involuntarily.

Of course she had already started conversations with you. They all revolved around the weekend, your pets, "I'm going to drink water, do you want me to get it for you, Y/N?" and learned the exact temperature that you liked to drink it. She liked to hear your voice when offering her snacks or even complaining about another employee who did not know how to communicate and just shouted at you when called you. Minji didn't know how there were people in the world who could be rude to you.

When you got up from your chair and wished her a good night, Minji said the same thing back. She looked around quickly and realized that she would be alone at the establishment because she would work overtime. She had no plans for this Friday and would rather go home and sleep than pretend to be paying attention to something on TV.

"Hey, aren't you coming too?"

With a slight surprise, Minji’s eyes looked up at you from behind round lenses, you were about two meters away, holding your bag in one hand. Damn, Minji thought, how beautiful she looks today.

"I'll stay a little longer. Just until I clean my email. There isn't much missing.”, she replied, smiling.

"Do you want me to stay and keep you company?", you asked.

A brief silence followed and Minji was sure that her mouth went dry and her lungs stopped working. Her heartbeats stumbled a lot until she finally answered.

"It would be great to have your company."

It was always great to have your company.

In almost three years together, working together, Minji never had the courage to ask you to lunch with her. She thought she would ruin everything, drop your drink, forget the money at home and you would have to pay for her meal, every kind of nightmare you can imagine. Even though that you would think she was just a good co-worker. Terrible.

What Minji really wanted to do was take you on a date, but she never felt brave enough to do that. And she only knew that you didn't date because you had made it clear once, in a conversation at the company's holiday party, that everyone was a little bit not sober, that you would only be with someone you liked very much.

You sat down again in your place.

"Do you want some help?"

"No, no. I'm just finishing deleting a few emails. It won't take long. ”

"Do you want me to get you a cup of water?"

Minji's brown eyes met yours. She wanted you so much to know her feelings for you...

"Yes, please."

You came back with two glasses, one for you and one for her. As Minji alternated between drinking water and deleting unnecessary emails, analyzing in a somewhat thorough way whether she could really delete them, you started talking.

"Minji, did you ever feel like something was preventing you from acting?"

The mouse clicks stopped but Minji decided to make false movements while thinking of an answer for you. Of course she felt it, she was feeling it right now because all she wanted to do was pull you and kiss you.

"Yes, all the time."

"Lately I feel that what holds me is myself and I don't know how to act," you confessed, a sadly tone in your voice.

Minji's heart sank. You never opened up about personal things, maybe being alone for the first time made it possible. And it showed that you had a certain confidence in her, which encouraged her to continue the matter.

“I know how it feels. It’s like one of those dreams in which you run and run but you just stay in the same place.”, she turned her face to you and you could see the sincerity through that transparent lens of her glasses.

Minji always had that feeling. She was always embarrassed to speak in public, at work she spoke only what was necessary and never talked much with her co-workers. In reality, before you, she never talked to anyone anything beyond the essential. Still, she was invited to happy hour’s and parties. The people there were very fond of her company, even though it was a very quiet one.

"Exactly."

Minji was about to finish cleaning up her spam box, but she didn't want to leave. She wanted to keep talking to you for longer, to hear your voice for longer, to see your face for longer... But eventually, you should go home.

"I think it's up to us to let go of what keeps us from following, isn’t it, Minji?", chin resting on one of your hands, waiting for her answer.

Minji loved how her name sounded on your mouth. She nodded.

"You're quite shy, aren't you?", you asked, making Minji's cheeks flush.

"Yeah...", she replied. "This is what holds me back, my shyness."

Minji slowly started to turn off the computer. Who was she trying to deceive? Would she be pretending to delete emails for how long? 3 hours? Would she keep you with her for so long just because she loved your company? No, she wouldn't do that. What if you had an appointment? It was time to go.

"I have finished. We can go now.”, she commented, getting up and placing her backpack on her shoulder.

Minji, who had the door key, went right behind you. You pressed the time-card. She turned off all the lights and locked the door. When she reached you in the hall, putting the key in her backpack’s pocket, the elevator button was already on. The silence was cut only by the noise of it going up the floors to you.

"It’s so scary in here at night, how can you do so much overtime?", you asked and the elevator doors opened.

"I do this more to kill time.", Minji replied, entering right behind you.

The metal doors closed and the elevator began its descent from the eighth floor to the ground floor. There were probably only you and the security guards in the building now, no one else. It was the end of some important soccer game and everyone was at home or in bars waiting for the match. Minji looked at the watch on her wrist, it was half pass 9PM.

"But you were working overtime too, weren't you?", she asked to break the silence.

"Ah, I..." you would reply but a great squeak was present.

The elevator lights started to flash and it stopped suddenly, causing you to lose your balance and almost fall to the floor. The doors were still closed and you were probably somewhere between the third and second floors. Minji, leaning against the metal wall, looked at you, startled.

"Are you claustrophobic?", she asked, concerned.

“No, I'm just scared. It never happened to me”, you said, a little breathlessly.

Minji pressed the button for the ground floor again in the hope that the elevator would return to its trajectory, but nothing happened. The lights were back to normal, they didn't flash anymore, the buttons were all normal but the elevator didn't want to work. She tried the emergency button.

Nothing happened.

"My cell phone has no signal, as expected.", you said, holding the device in one hand, reaching for the ceiling of the elevator. "What the hell!"

Yes, Minji wanted to spend more time with you, it was a fact, but she didn't expect for you both to be stuck in an elevator. There was nothing romantic about it. It was desperate and could even generate trauma! She took a deep breath and tried to see if her cell phone worked, tried to send messages to Bora and Siyeon, but the messages weren't even being sent. Calls did not complete. Minji and you were trying to do the most diverse types of communication, even tried the company's wifi, but it didn't reach that floor.

After more than 20 minutes of trying, you gave up.

"Okay," you said, sitting on the floor and placing your bag beside you as an armrest. "I think we can survive this."

"We can.", Minji replied with a beautiful smile and sat down beside you. "I think we will only be saved when the soccer match is over."

You faced each other again. Despite the desperate situation, you burst out laughing. A breathless laugh that made your belly and cheeks hurt. Minji held back the urge to say how beautiful you were.

You have recovered your breath and the silence has fallen on you. Despite many silences, they were never uncomfortable silences; you had silences that were like a polite wait for the other to start talking. Minji was too shy to begin it and you thought it would be invasive if you did. But, given the current circumstances, the ideal would be to have at least a little conversation, otherwise you both would go crazy.

"Since we're here, how about we get to know each other better?", you suggested, turning to Minji.

"You can ask what you want to know.", she adjusted the glasses on her face and smiled slightly.

“We can play a game.”, you were excited about your own idea. “For example... what 3 things would you take to a desert island? Remembering that ‘boat’ is not an answer. ”

"Ahm...", Minji started to think while feeling your gaze on her face. “A book, perhaps. A penknife? And... I don't know... A manual on how to make a boat on a desert island.”, she concluded, triumphant.

"Hey, this is also not allowed!", you were outraged by the answer but you couldn't help but laugh.

“You didn't specify anything about the rules and now I can make a boat to get off the island. But what about you? What would you take to a desert island? ”

"A book. Chocolate. Someone special to keep me company. ”

"You didn't say I could take people!"

"I also didn't say that you couldn't.", you laughed. "But we would probably go crazy and end up devouring each other, or fight to death."

"You’re watching a lot of movies about desert islands," she joked.

"My favorite hobby."

Minji turned to you, you were now face to face. In 90% of working hours, Minji could only observe you (discreetly, of course) in your profile. The other 10% of seeing your face was from the front, and it was when you arrived or left, or even when you turned to get the glass of water offered by her. That 10% was always a great time for her because your eyes seemed to see her beyond what she was.

"What would you take to an elevator between the third and second floors?", you asked her, in a playful tone.

"I have everything I need right here.", Minji replied.

A slight tension settled between you both and Minji realized that the phrase had been said in a very unthinkable way so she started to stumble over her own words trying to fix what she had said.

"N-no, I mean, I mean.", she pushed the glasses up again. "I didn't mean ... I mean, I mean...", she was cold sweating and you had a slight smile on your lips. "I meant that I have everything I need here, in my backpack." picked up the backpack. "Look, I have toothpaste, water, umbrella, candy, salad, ahm..."

You were finding it adorable the way she messed up trying to correct what she said. But you wouldn't forget that phrase or the tone used in it.

"Salad?" you asked, trying to make her relax a little.

"Yes, it's just that sometimes I like to stop in the park to eat while I watch the sky.", Minji still blinked faster than usual, the heartbeats still fast.

"This is so cute."

Minji's face flushed to her hair. She caught the air in her lungs and looked away from you to where the metal walls were in the right corner of the elevator. Why did she have to be so sensitive to you? Why did you have to have such a good voice to hear and this charming way of speaking? Why did your eyes have to look at her so deeply, seeing Minji as Minji, not like the shy co-worker?

This elevator is driving me crazy, Minji thought.

"And you, what would you take to a broken elevator?”, she asked after clearing her throat.

"I don't think I need anything else." you answered.

Minji could easily be mistaken for a statue. Were you flirting with her? Was it really possible that you, the person her mind had been thinking about for almost 3 years in a row, were flirting with her?

"We have your backpack, right?", you added, making Minji move again.

"Yes, everything we need is here." still confused if it had been a flirt.

Time passed by and you continued to talk. The soccer match should still be going on and you were already starting to eat one of the snacks that were in Minji's so complete backpack. You talked about the restaurants you went to, your favorite movies and series, the first concerts you saw in your life, the oldest memories you had of yourself, favorite colors, etc. You learned personal things about each other in an elevator, everything you didn’t learn during these 3 years working together, being next to each other every single day. And Minji was sure that if the security camera was recording everything, it would be possible to see the heart shapes in her eyes while she admired you talking.

“Minji...”

“Yes?”

You were lying next to each other, staring at the lights protected by fences on the ceiling of the elevator. Minji knew it was worth it to stay there, stuck with you. If it was anyone else, she would have already found a way out. But with you, the elevator could even be a pleasant place.

"If you were to stay in this elevator forever, would you be happy to be with me?”

Minji noticed your movement beside her, the eyes looking straight to her face, she swallowed a little bit. She couldn't lie to you, but that question was so... different from all the others. Swallowing again and taking a deep breath, Minji turned her face to yours.

"I'm happy to be you and not anyone else," she finally replied.

All the sincerity in one sentence and whispered in an elevator, your face so close to hers that she could make your foreheads touch if she wanted to. In fact, she did want to. She just couldn't. She remembered Bora's words. 3 years. This is more than just a simple crush.

Using the words of her best friend as a source of strength for what would happen next, Minji turned completely towards you and it seemed that all shyness had managed to get down to the ground floor, leaving only Minji, flesh and blood, to deliver her heart to you.

“I am happy because ... when you push the glass doors, it looks like the Sun itself walking and sitting next to me. When you smile, wishing me a good morning, it's like you're recharging my batteries. Your eyes shine and have so much curiosity, a good curiosity, a desire to know, that delights me.” she felt that her eyes were starting to cry but she wouldn’t stop now, not when she finally had the courage to release all that was overflowing in her heart. "You are beautiful. And you can get more and more beautiful every moment, even when you are stressed when talking to a employee or when you are tired. I've been in love with you since I met you and I never got the courage to even take you to lunch with me. And now we’re here, stuck in an elevator and I’m talking nonstop, which I’ve never done before. But I like you. I really do.”

Minji sat and removed her glasses to clean the lenses that had fogged up. She didn't want to see you now. Who knows what kind of expression would be on your face. Disgust? Indifference? She didn't know which one would be worse to see. But the silence was also suffocating her. I should have been quiet, she thought. I should have let shyness stay and control my tongue for the rest of my life.

"Minji, I..."

With a loud creak, the elevator descended again. Caught off guard and not believing what was happening, when the doors opened on the ground floor you were still sitting.

It looked like nothing had happened. The building's entrance was empty. The elevator voice was working, normally. Was it a prank? Were you on a television program?

Minji got up quickly, picked up her backpack and put the glasses on her face again. She held the door for you to go through but still didn't have the courage to look at your face.

"Minji.", you called again.

“Look, Y/N, I know you don't have the same feelings for me and it's really fine. If you feel disgusted or uncomfortable, I will even ask the boss to change places, I would never want to have- ”

"Minji!", your voice came out in a half scream, drawing her attention to your face, finally. “The things you said... were beautiful. Nobody ever said anything like that to me.”

Minji was holding the backpack strap tightly. She licked her lips and tried to calm her heart that kept churning in her chest and would soon jump out, screaming for your name. Her hands were sweating.

"Do you know why I stayed until later?", you asked Minji, who shook her head. "Just to be with you."

If it was able to see what was going on in Minji's body, you would see complete euphoria. It was an ecstasy of you, a dose so powerful for her that it would make her climb the walls and even fly. The light laugh that came from her lips and the sigh of relief made you smile back.

"I thought you were going to stop talking to me or something," she confessed.

"I would never do that. Really. But, since we went through a very stressful time... diner is on me, okay?”

"Is this a..." nervously, Minji couldn't finish the sentence.

"A date. Post hijacking of crazy elevator. So, what do you say? ”

With a smile from ear to ear, Minji and you headed towards your favorite restaurant that was not far from there. On the way, you held Minji's hand, which made her heart melt even more for you.

Distracted, Minji wouldn't notice that the messages on her phone would be sent and that Siyeon and Bora were super worried about her. They called her cell phone but would never be answered as it was in silent mode and Minji was too busy on a fun date with you. The security guards would have a little trouble, they would get a good scolding from the boss and only later would they realize that two young girls got stuck in the elevator.

And you, unaware of everything around you, started to make everything that you always wanted during those 3 years happen in one night.

[sunflwrvolume6]

plausible deniability [twenty-nine]

chessboard captures

He’d actually slept in bed next to her last night. No liquor on his breath, no anger in his touch. They’d fallen asleep after midnight tangled in each other and sated. She’d woken to his warmth, the familiar feeling of ‘home’. They hadn’t moved as they watched the sunrise spreading gold-pink fingers through the windows. Then Niall had to go and ruin the peace by asking that.

[ao3 ☆ wattpad]

[previous ☆ next]

[masterlist]

Niall is hardly home over the next two weeks. He leaves early in the mornings to take care of business, do what needs to be done in the back room of Bobby’s, and comes home late at night. Sometimes drunk, sometimes angry at the world, sometimes both. Those are the nights that frighten Aila the most.

He keeps his hands off of her—won’t even kiss her. He doesn’t come to bed with her.

Aila stares up at the canopy of the bed, hands on Niall’s shoulders, legs around his waist. Everything she’d just felt is gone now. Sighing, she slides her hands to his chest and pushes against him. He blinks owlishly, as if surprised to see her beneath him.

“Where are you?”

“What do you mean?” he asks, rocking into her again, but there is nothing behind the action. A rote movement bearing no emotion.

“I can feel your dick. You aren’t into this. Like, at all. And honestly? It makes me feel really shitty that you can be fucking me and not be hard.”

He sighs, leans down to kiss her, and pulls away. As he tosses the barely-used condom into the bin, Aila sits up and tugs the sheet to her chest. She reaches for his hand once he’s beside her again, only for her breath to catch in her throat when he doesn’t return the gesture. He won’t look her in the eye.

“Love?”

When his gaze finally lands on her face, his eyes are dark. Full of something unrecognisable. She knows the fiery anger, the cold thirst for vengeance, the haggard dull of worry. But this? This is something entirely different. She swallows and whispers his name.

“I... God, Aila, I didn’t want to do it this way. Believe me, I didn’t.”

“Are you—Are you breaking up with me?”

“Will you marry me?”

He... He can’t have asked that. Aila hopes he hasn’t. She stares at him, pleading with any god listening for him to take it back.

“What?”

“You know I went back home this past weekend.” She nods slowly, and he blows out a breath. “Da said if I truly love you, we should get married. And... I hate to admit it, but he was right. Why shouldn’t we?”

“I—I don’t know. Niall, this is—“

He clutches her hand in his, squeezing gently. The doubt in his eyes has faded. The lack of an immediate ‘no’ seems to have bolstered his confidence. “Think about it, darling. We’d show the world we love each other. We’d be by each other’s side for the rest of our lives. It sends a message to the city that we’re a team.”

“So you think we should marry so you can maintain your power.”

“No,” he groans. “I think we should marry because we love each other. The power is only a bonus.”

“I...”

Her mind races. Aila can’t think clearly with him staring at her with such wide, clear eyes. Hope. The proposal came out of nowhere. He wasn’t going to ask, but his father told him he should.

Bobby hates her. Why would this even be a suggestion? Aila is certain it isn’t because of affection for her. He demanded Niall kill her not even a month ago.

“I need to think about it,” she whispers through numb lips, ducking her head when Niall only frowns.

“Okay, darling. I understand.”

Does he, though?

She doesn’t look at him as she tugs her clothes on. He doesn’t speak as she rushes out of the room.

Somehow, Aila sneaks out of the house without alerting anyone. Rain pours from leaden skies, and she resists snorting in amusement. Stormy weather for a storm of indecision. Confusion. She sprints down the road toward the station, quickly putting distance between her and Niall’s question.

He’d actually slept in bed next to her last night. No liquor on his breath, no anger in his touch. They’d fallen asleep after midnight tangled in each other and sated. She’d woken to his warmth, the familiar feeling of ‘home’. They hadn’t moved as they watched the sunrise spreading gold-pink fingers through the windows. Then Niall had to go and ruin the peace by asking that.

And now it’s raining, as if the broken peace brought with it the sudden thunderheads and downpour.

“Holy shit, you’re soaked!” Willow frowns and shoves Aila’s wet hair from her face. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

“Wills, let her get dry first. C’mon, Aila.”

Aila follows Paisley to the room they used to share, and Angel drops a towel onto the bed. Aila shivers, though she isn’t cold. No, it has nothing to do with the late-July thunderstorm and everything to do with the unexpected, decidedly not romantic proposal. It was only a step up from Colton’s.

Once she’s dressed in a pair of Paisley’s pyjama pants and Angel’s fleece sweatshirt, Aila drops onto the couch next to Willow. “He asked me to marry him.”

Silence reigns at the announcement, but Aila doesn’t expect it to last long. Paisley stares at her, blinking owlishly, and Angel gapes with her jaw dropped. Her bowl of dry cereal falls to the floor, though she makes no move to clean up the mess.

“You don’t look exactly happy with that,” Cheyenne says finally.

“I—I don’t know what to say or how to feel. I mean, I love him. So much. But I don’t know if I’m ready to marry him. It just feels too fast, especially after the horrible start we had.”

Paisley clears her throat, crosses the room to sit on Aila’s lap. “Honestly? It probably is. Look at it this way, though. He’s already two steps ahead of Colton. Colt never came to any Junk Nights, and it took that bastard ten years to lock you down. Niall isn’t fucking around like that. He’s scooping you up before you can realise you’re better than he deserves.”

Aila loops her arms around Paisley’s waist, closing her eyes as she struggles to breathe evenly. Her heart continues its rapid rhythm beneath her ribs, pushing fear and panic through her veins. Marrying Niall would be a mistake. If she does, she can’t ever leave him. He could spend the rest of her life letting his anger control him, and she would be forced to endure it.

She can’t see that happening. He’s already shown he is capable of change. The possibility is still there.

Willow pats Aila on the knee. “Do you love him? Can you see a future without him?”

“I haven’t ever tried,” she admits.

“What are you afraid of?”

“I don’t know,” cries Aila, and Paisley leans more securely against her. “Like, Colt was my first everything. Almost everything, anyway. After what he did, it’s hard to trust it won’t happen again. That I’m putting my heart into the right hands.”

Quiet plinks fill the silence left behind. Angel sets her bowl aside, dusts cereal crumbs from her hands, and faces Aila with an uncharacteristic serious expression. Aila peeks around Paisley’s torso and blinks away tears.

“Honey, that isn’t gonna happen. You are. We all saw how he looked at you at Junk Night. We’ve seen everything he’s done for you.”

Not everything, Aila thinks but doesn’t say. Instead, she asks, “So you think I should?”

“I think it doesn’t matter if it’s been a week or a century. If he makes you happy, if he treats you the way you deserve... If he would give his life for you, then I don’t see why marrying him would be such a horrible decision.”

Aila sighs, wiping her cheeks against Paisley’s shirt. “Can I stay here tonight?”

Willow’s hand lands firmly on the back of Aila’s hand. Aila takes it as the ‘Don’t be stupid’ it is and hunkers down into the couch. Maybe her friends are right. Still, she can’t get rid of the doubts.

What if she and Niall aren’t compatible in the long run? Most of their time has been spent ignoring each other, having sex, or her refusing to accept his behaviour. He can be kind—so kind and generous and soft—but she sees far more of his cold, vindictive side than she’d ever thought possible.

From: Aila (12:10) < I’m gonna stay with the girls for a bit. I just need to think, and you distract me too much.

From: Niall (12:16) > I understand. I asked a lot of you, and I won’t pressure you into making a decision so quickly . From: Niall (12:16) > Just know I love you no matter what you decide.

Three days later, Aila stares up at the manor. The same one that intimidated her so long ago. The one that became home at some point over the past few months. The groundskeeper and his apprentice amble across the lawn, checking for plants that shouldn’t be there, and guards move along the fencing.

“Miss? You may go in.”

Aila startles at the tinny voice coming from the intercom. She thumbs the button, thanking the guard, and steps through the iron gate. The trek up the lane drags on, each step seemingly bringing her backwards. Her words weigh heavily on her tongue.

She’s spent the last three days thinking of what Niall said. The proposal and promise of lifelong love. Saying ‘yes’ means growing comfortable with the realities of what he does. Saying ‘no’ means never holding him again. Aila doesn’t know which is worse.

The only answer she can give came to her in the middle of the night. Now here she stands on the precipice of changing the trajectory of her life forever.

Niall glances up from the table in front of him, frowning when Aila stops in the doorway. He doesn’t speak, only waits for her to break the sudden silence. She clasps her hands in front of her and clears her throat.

“Are you, uh, are you busy?”

Someone snorts, and her head snaps to the left to see Viper sneering. “Obviously we’re busy, so run along, Princess. This doesn’t concern you.”

“Enough.” Niall hasn’t raised his voice, but Viper shrinks back anyway. Niall slowly shifts his gaze from Aila’s face to the other man. “You will never speak to her like that again.”

“Yes, sir.”

Niall raises a brow but turns to Aila. “Is everything okay, darling?”

“Yeah. I just—I just wanted to talk about the other day. It can wait.” She forces a smile as his eyes widen, darken, then he dips his chin.

“I’ll find you as soon as we’re done here.”

Aila swallows against her nerves, nods, and pivots on her heel. As she walks away from the War Room, she hears his cold voice promising Viper will pay for his disrespect. A shiver runs down her spine. She knows what the cost will be.

Robert disregards his duties in favour of teaching Aila how to play chess. She wins only one game—the very first one, in which he tells her of the basics—and fails miserably at the rest. She grins at him after the fifth round and thanks him for not taking it easy on her.

“However will you learn, my dear, if you aren’t challenged?”

“May I have some privacy with Aila?”

As one, Robert and Aila look away from their game. Her attention catches on the sight of Viper slinking past the door. Blood drips from his split, swollen lip. Fingerprint-bruises litter his throat already. He glares at Aila, cuts his gaze to Niall, then scurries out of the house.

Robert stands, bowing his head toward her. “A worthy opponent, Miss Aila. I hope to play more with you.”

“You’re only saying that to make me feel better about losing so much.”

Robert’s chuckle lingers in the air after he’s gone. Niall closes the door and crosses the room to take the seat across from Aila. She watches him set up the pieces, wondering what he’s thinking. Finally, he glances up at her and smiles.

“I told you he’s quite taken by you.”

“You don’t think it’s weird that I consider him a friend and treat him like one?”

“Not weird. I’d find it weirder if you didn’t.” He moves his pawn before leaning back in his seat. “Your heart is too soft to ever look down on someone or mistreat them.”

“And that brings me to my point.”

She blows out a breath, gaze scanning over the board. Niall stays quiet—not pressuring her to make a move. A choice. Her hand hovers over a pawn, then she bites down on her lower lip as she sets the piece down. Niall takes it within two turns.

Aila rolls her eyes as he flashes her a smug grin. “Rude. Niall, I… I can’t do what you lot do. I just can’t. As much as I’m—not ‘okay’ with it, really, but accepting of your lifestyle, I’m not okay with the thought of taking a life.”

“No one is asking you to. If you die of old age without ever having killed, it will have been worth it as long as you’ve been by my side.”

They don’t speak for a few minutes. The only sound in the room is the clack of pieces being placed on the board, the scrape of pieces being dragged to the side. She ducks her head to hide her smile when his foot presses against hers. Warmth flares but flickers out.

She still hasn’t told him her answer.

“Stop letting me win,” she grumbles a moment later as she takes his knight. Keeping her eyes on the game, she sighs. “I love you, Niall. I always will. I just need you to know I can’t be involved in the actual murder side of what you do.”

He knocks his foot into her ankle. She looks up in time to see his soft smile. The tenderness nearly kills her. “Then don’t. Do what you’re comfortable with. I told you I would take care of the ‘stabby bits’.”

It doesn’t matter if it’s been a week or a century. She sets the piece in place, her queen and king blocking his king. He’s let her win, but she hardly notices it. The move feels too symbolic—if she says yes, she’ll have captured him. If she says no, she will have cornered him into an impossible situation. A loss.

“Checkmate.” Blowing out a breath, she meets Niall’s eye. “I’ll marry you.”

[argylemikewheeler]

some line-by-line analysis: the rain argument

Honestly to start, my favorite thing, I’m not sure why, is that when Will tells Mike to “forget it” and runs up the stairs, Mike doesn’t call after him. He just follows. Even before, when Will’s anger is still escalating, Mike just says “You [Lucas] want to keep playing, right?” and “We’ll just call the girls afterwards”, which aren’t really argumentative. They’re both positive affirmations (to Mike at least) that he wants to keep playing. There isn’t a “hey! knock it off! we want to still play!” from Mike, just an assurance that it all can wait until after... and even when Will storms out, he doesn’t use any interjections/argue after him. He just follows.

Once they get outside, Mike still doesn’t argue that Will is being unreasonable or ridiculous about his outburst. He just says “Will, come on. You can’t leave. It’s raining.” These are not any biased form of argument from Mike; he’s still not “raising a hand” (verbally) to Will’s outburst. He just wants to get Will to stay in any way he can-- or just not let Will leave mad, which Mike obviously hates BUT doesn’t engage with, unlike previously seen with other characters (Lucas, Max, Hopper etc).

Finally, we have the apology: “Listen, I said I was sorry, all right? It’s a cool campaign. It’s really cool!” again, still not saying that Will is unreasonable or getting Mike’s own view of the situation across: he’s still just trying to comfort Will. He knows he’s done something wrong or, again, he just doesn’t want to argue with him at all.

Finally, though, when Will makes an accusation Mike does respond with “That’s not true!” and he looks betrayed rather than incredulous. How could he, Mike Wheeler, be ruining a Party that he, for all intents and purposes of the show’s framing, is the “leader” of? How could he be ruining something he loves so dearly without knowing? How is that possible? It can’t be true.

After that, and what I find most interesting, is Mike stays silent as Will goes off on him. I mean, this is the most angry we’ve seen Will Byers and the most reserved we’ve ever seen Mike Wheeler. From the beginning, Mike is shown to be vocally righteous and stubborn, and Will is timid and of few words. But here, Mike stands and listens-- he doesn’t even lift his arms up in a silent way of arguing with him. He’s listening.

Mike gawks and waits, only cutting in when Will insults Mike’s desire to make out with “some [stupid] girl”. Again I’m not sure why, but I find it interesting that Will doesn’t address who Mike is making out with. It’s not a personal attack on El really. It’s an attack on Mike kissing girls in general over hanging out with them. Will, to me, isn’t calling El stupid; he’s merely labeling every girl that Mike will ever make out with as stupid. Again, it’s an attack at Mike choosing to do that, not directed at El. By not naming her, I think it really says a lot about the intent, but that might just be me.

And then we have the biggest line: “El’s not stupid!” followed by “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.” I mean, what a wild pair of sentences. First, let’s address Mike’s rebuttal: it’s weak, right? I mean, I’m not saying that Mike even knows of his Other Feelings and that’s influencing how he speaks, but Mike really doesn’t go to bat for El that much here. He just cuts Will off by arguing the only point he could get in edgewise-- the only thing that could be argued. Him not knowing where Dustin was? Yeah, fair. Will being annoyed that Mike is picking girls over the Party? Yeah, that’s fair too. Calling El stupid? Yeah, NO that’s not cool. Here, Mike brings things back to being personal/being about El-- which wasn’t what Will was saying, and Mike probably knows that. It’s just the only thing he could finally interject about because Will is right in his own emotions.

Secondly, I almost don’t know what to intelligently say about the “not my fault” line. I mean, it changes the mood so quickly. So quickly. Mike makes it, in his own way, about their sexuality (and the ways that kids express it/experience it differently). Mike doesn’t say “It’s not my fault you don’t have a girlfriend”, no. He labels the entire conflict as Will’s inability to be romantically attracted to girls. He makes it personal and he makes it direct. He exposes that he’s noticed that Will isn’t taking interest in girls (rather than just pointing out he has no “luck” with them) and Will is silent.

There is nothing to say for Will. He can’t argue that point of reasoning anymore. If it was “not my fault you don’t have a girlfriend”, Will could have easily said “because I don’t want one!” and pushed the denial forward and offered an excuse to the sudden exposure of his actions. He stays silent and lets the sentence echo. The way he looks at Mike is one of shock, but the anger doesn’t go away. He’s not shocked that Mike knows/noticed; he’s upset that he’s chosen now to bring it up.

To which Mike apologizes! He knows, again, that he’s messed up. He goes back to affirming Will-- in tone only, in a way. “I’m not trying to be a jerk” is a bit more “hands on” than his previous listening technique, but he still says it in such a more calm way.

And now, the big part: “But we’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

First off? The tone. Mike’s tone at the end of this speech is the same as when he started. He doesn’t raise his voice despite asking a bunch of rhetorical questions and reiterating his point. He is calm as he actually starts the argument. The way he ends that last question sounds like a genuine question to me and it’s so fascinating. He wants an answer.

AND that’s because I think Mike’s confused about Will, honestly. I’m not saying Mike’s conscious of his confusion, but I think there is something about his friend that he just doesn’t understand-- and it’s his lack of attraction to girls, as previously noticed. He points out, at first, that he knows how Will (and himself) acted as kids. They experienced the same level of “feelings” for girls-- which was probably none because they’re goobers and twelve. But then Mike changes to asking what did Will think was going to happen, which in a way is Mike also prompting himself too. Obviously, by asking this, something hasn’t gone the way he planned either. And this, in a way, is probably Will not showing any attraction to girls-- never getting that girlfriend that was obviously something Mike was going to do. Mike thought they’d be the same again, just as they were as children, but Will’s different.

But here, also important to note, Mike brings it back to girlfriends and not just girls. Before, he accuses Will of not liking any girl but then when talking about himself (his language kind of cuts Will out of the “we” that is getting girlfriends after the “don’t like girls” comment) but then he’s back to pointing out that this new “we” of course was going to get girlfriends because they could. This is something a lot of people have noted in their own analysis but Mike really implies here that getting a girlfriend was an expected part of their teenage trajectory. And yeah, it might not say much for a boy to assume he’d get a girlfriend, but Mike is kind of accusing Will of essentially: what? you think we’d all be like you? not have any girlfriends?

And this is why Mike asks the last question so genuinely: he really isn’t sure what Will thought their lives would be like if he wasn’t going to get a girlfriend. The concept of Will not getting one is off-putting to Mike. I don’t think he truly knows Will is gay, but I think here he’s really kind of voicing his own confusion for how Will’s growing up with him. How can a boy not get one? Is that an option? Is that possible? How could someone show no interest in girls and then just, not get one? Mike marks this up to Will wanting to do the same thing as they did as children (when they all didn’t like girls at all,or more directly, thinking Will is “staying a child”) and Will takes this line to mean that they’d all keep the group together, that he’d get to keep his friends while he obviously misses out on romantic milestones: “Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.”

Will admits he thought he could have normal teenage years, and he has to hear from his straight-relationshipped friend that he was wrong. And Mike definitely doesn’t understand the difference in their answers/tone, but his face drops as he realizes that Will really did want that time with them, not just the “immature hobby”, so to speak.

Mike knows he fucked up-- he doesn’t know why or how, but he knows-- and promptly follows Will with an apology. He knows his words weren’t appropriate, if only for voicing an observation he shouldn’t have-- about Will and girls-- and he admits to being a “total asshole”. Which, yes, is nice because Mike kind of was in terms of turning his friend away but also? Nothing in that argument was particularly outlandishly rude. He never shouted at him, except for outing that he knew Will didn’t like girls. Mike’s apology being so severe says more, to me, about how much Mike understands about his words/fuck up than that he just knows he did bad. He wants to fix what he said, he just doesn’t know how.

And what’s worse is while Mike’s trying to figure out what happened and what he said in combination with what he feels himself-- and maybe in being more like Will than he thought-- Will is sitting alone and thinking everything he’s wanted (just staying in the basement, in that safety) is “stupid”.

What sucks the most, and what made that arc feel unfinished and unsatisfying to me, is that they never meet in the middle. At least not in season 3. I’m sure 4 will have them reuniting in the middle again. They’re best friends; they can’t be on opposite sides of understanding for long. That’s just not how they work-- it’s obvious it’s never been that way. And if “liking girls” is the thing that twists that dynamic, than goddamn that really means something huh?

[invokeinspiration]

Queerbaiting and Hannibal

My thoughts on Hannibal and queer baiting

Queerbaiting, according to the consensus, is when TV writers and producers add homoerotic tension and gay subtext between two characters to attract a LGBT viewership with no real intention of following through on an explicit queer romance. 

Queerbaiting gives rise to a LGBTQ romance but doesn’t take the risk of consummating it because producers and studios don’t want the potential loss of straight viewers and because acknowledging the gay community by teasing them is easier than giving a more authentic voice to the LGBT community. It’s wrong for a number of reasons. The biggest problem is that it erases and mocks the voices of LGBTQ people represented as characters on mainstream television. Adding gay subtext to mainstream masculine male characters but not entertaining a serious same-sex relationship simply puts LGBT people in a box. 

There are lots of shows that queerbait unethically: Supernatural, Sherlock, Merlin, Riverdale, and Teen Wolf are just a few. Gay subtext definitely exists in mainstream television. Sometimes, writers even acknowledge that there is a romance but it never comes to fruition. Queerbaiting perpetuates the heterosexual, male-dominated, and patriarchial society. If the same subtext was present with a female and male character, there would be an eventual consummation of that relationship; even if it was an expression of feeling, a kiss, a sex scene, whatever. They don’t want their male hero, portrayed as a strong powerful protagonist as gay. Even though by having one same-sex relationship does not mean someone is gay, but I digress. Whether or not that matters anyway is besides the point; it’s what viewers will say and how the rating may change. Television shows are more comfortable now with a feminine, female queer character but when it comes to masculine male protagonist characters, they deny queerness. Unless that protagonists story is solely about his queerness. Instead, queer male characters in television are protrayed as a superficial stereotypical queer person and that’s not accurate to the queer community as a diverse community.

Most production studios are not ready for a queer, masculine mainstream male character on television and that’s the problem. Television is still afraid of what too much LGBT acceptance might mean for their ratings. The shows that participate in queerbaiting want to acknowledge the LGBT community enough to get them excited, but not enough to show their authenticity and give proper and whole representation in mainstream media. I fear that society still has a long way to go before queer authenticity becomes a reality in mainstream media. 

Now, despite my frustrations, I don’t think that Hannibal falls into this category and I’m not alone. Bryan Fuller, one of the writers and creators of the show, is queer and actively articulates the romantic relationship between Hannibal and Will. Now, yes, season three came out in 2015 but was released on Netflix this year. I know that I’m late to the game but I am obsessed nonetheless, leave me alone. 

I know that if you’re reading this, you’re likely already familiar with Hannibal and hopefully have watched season three finale, but I still have to acknowledge, for the purpose of background, that Hannibal and Will have an extremely toxic relationship. They constantly try to kill each other. They cause each other severe depression and mental instability. They hurt each other as much as they help each other. Also, they kill people, so realistically, they are bad people. However, as viewers, the story is written to love these two despite their psychopathic tendencies. In the same way a cat brings a dead bird to your door. It’s disgusting and macabre but the cat is still kind of cute, even though you wouldn’t let it lick your face.

The way that Bryan Fuller created and developed the story of Hannibal and Will is not to queerbait. It’s to take you on a journey of their complicated relationship. Now, even though there are a lot of viewers that still want an explicit consummation of the relationship, even if it’s a kiss, I - and Bryan Fuller - don't think the relationship is ready for it. It may be a relief or just more excitement, but it wouldn’t make sense to the story and plus the tension is the good part, I think. Only because the viewer already knows that they love each other. If you know the characters well enough, they’ve already told each other in their own ways.

Not all on-screen relationships have to be consummated by a sex scene. Sometimes it just perverts it and takes away from the emotion. Bryan Fuller, Mads Mikkelsen, and Hugh Dancy aren’t adding sexual tension to torture the audience - well, maybe they are - but rather to convey how troubled they and their relationship is. For Hannibal and Will, a simple physical touch has more intimacy and significance than more explicit activities like sex or kissing, at least for now. Their relationship is extremely delicate and Hannibal is careful to not push himself onto Will and to let Will come to him. It has to be natural. It has to have clarity and stay on the right trajectory. In my own opinion, I want to see more of a domesticated relationship. I want to see what they act like on a lazy Sunday when they aren’t busy killing. Again, I digress.

In terms of queerbaiting, Hannibal doesn’t fall within the definition because the queer subtext goes beyond subtext to text. It is unclear what the sexual orientation is of the couple. Hannibal has had sex with a woman and Will has done the same and even married a woman. However, this does not mean that the characters are automatically heterosexual. I think that it’s very clear that Hannibal doesn’t subscribe to labels. I bet he thinks it’s rude. On the other hand, Will does worry about how people percieve him and would likely be uncomfortable with the title of being queer. “You called us ‘Murder Husbands’”, he said with disdain.

At the end of the day, Hannibal isn’t queerbaiting. Sure, we don’t get the kiss or a declaration of “I love you” but we don’t need it. Bryan Fuller isn’t marginalizing LGBT people, he’s telling a story about a tense and delicate relationship where sexual intimacy would be unrealistic for such important characters. That’s the beauty. However, this isn’t to say that sexual romance is impossible for this relationship. Though, one can expect that physical intimacy won’t be easy for them. The end of the third season really showed Hannibal and Will’s relationship growing stronger and gave realistic expectations for a romantic relationship in season four. The specifics are up to the viewer to decide. 

[chiseler]

TWO ALONE: A Noir Pastoral

It gets darker in the country than in the city.

Urban areas are thought to teem with crime and vice, but for city dwellers used to crowded, well-lit streets there’s a special terror about lonely rural roads at night. To the wary urbanite, the country—while it may be pretty for a Sunday outing—is a place of isolation, ignorance, backwardness and intolerance. This distrust feeds a strain of the rural gothic that trickles through Hollywood movies, always marginal and often subversive. Less common than the swampy, overripe Southern gothic, this genre of bucolic noir portrays farm life as mean, hard-bitten, joyless, and rife with exploitation—less salt-of-the-earth than salt-in-the-wounds.

F.W. Murnau’s City Girl (1929) set the template. Here Murnau inverted the pattern of Sunrise (1928), in which George O’Brien’s restless farmer is corrupted by an immoral city vixen and redeemed by a his wholesome, pure-hearted peasant wife. In City Girl, the eponymous heroine spends her days slinging hash in a Chicago lunch counter, sweating and footsore, batting away passes from endless hordes of male customers. At night she goes home to the roar of the El outside her cramped little room, blows the dust off her pitiful potted flower, listens to the chirping of a mechanical bird toy, and dreams of a better life outside the city. But when she marries a naive farm boy and goes home with him to the wheat fields, she’s briskly disillusioned. She has to contend with her harshly disapproving, bible-thumping father-in-law, who dominates her spineless husband; with a crowd of lecherous hired hands whose leering and pawing are worse than anything at the lunch counter; with thankless toil and her in-laws’ grim obsession with profit.

City Girl was caught in the changeover to sound, made as a silent but released in a mangled form with added musical and dialogue scenes. (The silent version has since been recovered and is now the only version available.) Among the changes that came with the adoption of sound was an intense urbanization of Hollywood’s output. The difficulty of location shooting and the influx of actors and writers from New York may have been the causes, but the whole tone of pre-Code movies is urban: wised-up, fast-paced, slangy.

Even when someone tried to make a film extolling the virtues of rural life, it seems they just couldn’t stop sneering and shuddering. The Purchase Price (1933), a total mis-fire by William Wellman, follows the basic trajectory of City Girl but is made with complete disregard for narrative logic or credibility. Barbara Stanwyck plays a nightclub singer so fed up with life on the Big Street, and with her seemingly amiable racketeer boyfriend, that she decides to flee to North Dakota as a mail-order bride. There she behaves like a brainwashed gulag inmate, cheerfully undergoing her re-education-through-labor: waking at dawn in a room so cold the water in her pitcher is frozen, and slogging through back-breaking toil in support of a churlish ingrate husband. (Played by the charmless George Brent, he pounces on her without preamble on their wedding night, and is so deeply offended by her rejection that he refuses ever to give her a second chance.) Of course, who would want to earn a cushy living warbling a song or two in a silver lamé gown when she could don an unflattering apron and a pair of galoshes and tote heavy pails of water along muddy paths while fending off cretinous rustics and suffering the scorn of a man with a chronic sniffle? Umm....

Somehow I imagine that the men who wrote The Purchase Price (the screenplay was by Warner Brothers regular Robert Lord, having an off day) were about as fond of clean country living as Oscar Levant, whose freak-out upon finding himself on the remote Neshobe Island is memorably recorded in Harpo Marx’s sublime autobiography, Harpo Speaks. He describes how Levant dissolved into panic when dragged off to this idyllic spot: “‘Birds!’ he wailed. ‘There are birds here! The sickest creatures on God’s earth! Trees! Even the trees are psychotic! Bugs! Don’t tell me there aren’t any insects here because I know there are!’ He grabbed my arm. ‘Harpo,’ he said, ‘What have you done to me? Take me away from here. Take me away from here!’”

Rural gothic films succeed where they avoid Purchase Price-style hypocrisy and are unapologetic in their antagonism. The completely unexpected Two Alone (1934) is such a triumph. It is unexpected both because this kind of dark, brooding, romantic, Borzagean tale was out of fashion in 1934, and because no one involved in the film had a distinguished record elsewhere. Director Elliott Nugent started as an unpreposessing actor (he’s the wimpy love interest in the talkie version of The Unholy Three, and had his best role as an emotionally damaged ex-pilot in The Last Flight) and as a director churned out mainly lightweight fare and earnest mediocrities like the 1949 Great Gatsby. The cast is headed by bland B leads—lovely Jean Parker, whose acting is rudimentary, and perennial kid-brother Tom Brown—and by a crew of usually predictable character actors. But nothing about this film is predictable.

It opens with barnyard footage that prepares you for a quaint rustic comedy (an expectation encouraged by the presence of ZaSu Pitts’s name in the credits). But the scenes of farmer Slag (Arthur Byron) rousting his family out of bed for another workday have a nasty edge: he’s a mean bastard, his wife (Beulah Bondi) is a sour-faced shrew, and their daughter is all one would expect from such a love match. The next shock is our first view of Mazie (Parker), bathing naked in a stream, her fully exposed rear ogled by Slag in a creepy Suzanna-and-the-Elders scene.

Mazie is an orphan and essentially a slave to her foster family, who exploit her powerlessness to the full. When the stingy, iron-fisted Slag growls self-righteously that “No one ever gave me anything,” one can hear the echo from today’s G.O.P. candidates. The protestant work ethic has drained this family of the last drop of humanity; they’re more miserly with compassion than with coin, and their flinty obsession with squeezing every penny from their workers and their land is related to Slag’s predatory lust and his wife’s barren prudishness. (When a hired man quits, Mrs. Slag confronts him with a shotgun and goes through his suitcase to make sure he didn’t steal any spoons; he jokes unkindly that she doesn’t need the shotgun to protect herself from him.) When Mazie falls in love with Adam (Brown), a reform school runaway who becomes another de facto slave, their romantic and sexual union is the ultimate threat to the Slags: a combined threat of rebellion, of idleness, of emotional warmth, of fertility, of freedom.

These themes are woven cleverly through the film. There is an ambiguous scene at the beginning where the middle-aged hired hand George Marshall (Willard Robertson) talks to Mazie by the well as she’s fetching water. Robertson was a character actor distinguished by his hard slitty eyes, and he usually played cops and sheriffs—the kind you know won’t believe your story. Here, he’s kind to Mazie, but his interest seems suspicious, especially when they talk about her unknown father, and Marshall opines that “no substitute has been found yet” for a biological father. It later turns out that Marshall is her father, that he has sought her ought and plans to rescue her. Hence the well, where Mazie looks at her reflection and imagines she is seeing her mother’s face, becomes a symbol of revelation—truth emerging from the well, as in the old adage. Yet it remains an ominous image too: in the end Mazie will throw herself into the well as Slag attacks Adam, who is now the father of her unborn child.

We first see Adam literally falling off the back of a truck, where he has been hitching a ride, and tumbling down a dusty slope. Tom Brown has a baby face that usually shone with gee-whiz, schoolboy cockiness under slicked-back hair. Here, with his hair tousled and a look of wary bitterness on his dirt-streaked face, he’s surprisingly attractive and forceful. Adam was sent to reform school after beating up his father, who abused his mother; Slag sees a chance to benefit by concealing Adam and blackmailing him into working for no wages.

Mazie and Adam bond first like brother and sister. Their awakening to something more comes in a dark, weirdly sexy scene that suggests anything but innocent pastoral romance. Left behind while the Slags are off at their daughter’s wedding, the young couple sits around a fire outdoors with Sandy (Charley Grapewin), a harmlessly demented dipsomaniac whose daughter (Pitts, in a very minor role) locks him in the shed to keep him out of trouble. Sandy starts telling them about the customs of Indian weddings, in which the groom has to chase down the bride. As he beats hypnotically on an upturned bowl to imitate the tom-toms, Adam and Mazie are unnerved and then possessed by the drumming; they run off into the dark woods and kiss.

Later, after they run away together, they succumb again in a field full of cloyingly sweet night flowers. But their sexual passion leads them into a love as pure and faithful as anything in Borzage. Their position as outcast waifs who find salvation in one another recalls Lucky Star—where crippled Charles Farrell and ragged farm girl Janet Gaynor develop an achingly delicate love in a bleak, slovenly rural gothic setting. The loveliest moment in Two Alone comes when Mazie, who has just realized she’s pregnant, faints and is carried into the house by Slag, who shoos Adam away. Ordered back to her chores as soon as she revives, Mazie goes to the porch for firewood. Through the window, we see Adam standing outside in the lashing rain, waiting to find out if she’s all right. It’s a beautifully framed and lit image that illustrates, without mawkishness, Adam’s devotion and the forlorn yearning of the young lovers kept apart.

Perhaps it’s unlikely that this story would end well, that the one good father would win out over all the bad fathers. George Marshall shows up in the nick of time after Adam has brawled with and been shot by Slag, and Mazie has thrown herself in the well. Adam still has to go back to reform school, but it’s a generally hopeful ending—and it comes as a great relief. It’s a tribute to the small film’s emotional power that we really don’t want to see the the luckless young lovers suffer any more.

Two Alone feels out of place at the tail end of the pre-Code era; it looks both backward to silent melodramas and forward to rural gothic noirs like Borzage’s Moonrise (1948), Jean Negulesco’s Deep Valley (1947), and Delmer Daves’ The Red House (1947). In Deep Valley, Ida Lupino is an isolated girl whose parents’ frosty, sick, mutually punishing relationship has reduced her to timid, stammering neurosis. She blossoms after meeting another wounded soul (Dane Clark), a convict escaped from a chain gang that is building a road through the remote woods; but he can’t free himself from his compulsively violent nature, and finds escape only in death. Clark had his finest hour in the gorgeous and haunting Moonrise, as a young man ostracized by his nasty Southern backwater town because his father was hanged for murder.

The past lingers longer in small towns and lonely farmsteads than in cities, where anonymity and change constantly wash around the inhabitants. This makes rural noir a more natural phenomenon than is commonly assumed, since the fatal grip of the past is a central noir theme. The Red House is a psychological haunted-house tale, and if one is not too distracted by the incongruity of Edward G. Robinson and Judith Anderson playing both siblings and farmers, it achieves a dense atmosphere of decay and blight. One-legged Pete Morgan (Robinson) relies on both spooky rumors and a hired redneck with a shotgun to keep people out of the woods around a ruined farmhouse that harbors the macabre secret of the woman he loved and killed. The woman’s daughter, ignorant of her past, is Morgan’s adopted daughter, and as his mind crumbles he begins to mistake her for his long-lost love, a disturbingly incestuous delusion. There’s a campfire-story creepiness about this film, you can almost hear the twigs snapping and see the light flickering, making the woods beyond blacker.

Bring a flashlight. It gets dark out there in the country.

by Imogen. Sara Smith

[freedom-shamrock]

Hero Cafe

Also on AO3

The idea for this was sparked by a recent comment Dawn_on_Fire made on AO3 on the BAMF Marinette story "Snack Chat."

⁂

Marinette looked over everything in the mini refrigerator while Tikki ran down the checklist.

"It looks like you've got everything set, Marinette," her kwami said brightly.  "This is such a sweet idea. I'm proud of you for moving past your worries to make this happen."

She closed the door and stood up, gazing proudly at her balcony's new setup. Superhero work was exhausting and took a lot of reserves. A few months back, she'd started bringing a bag of end-of-day breads and pastries whenever she was on patrol or training with any of her teammates. While they'd all appreciated it, Chat Noir had actually gotten tearful in his gratitude. Her partner was far too thin. Sure, his black suit emphasized that, but she'd picked him up enough times to know that it wasn't an illusion. She'd heard enough to know that his home life was garbage, and while she couldn't ask, it was clear he wasn't getting enough to eat.

It had taken far too long to come up with a solution that didn't involve her going out every night to feed her kitty. Lycee had gotten intense and she was stretched too thin as it was; she couldn't afford to give up more sleep if she wanted to keep all her commitments and ensure Paris' safety. 

Pitching the plan of creating a superhero rest stop to her parents was easier than she'd expected, though perhaps pointing out Chat Noir's dangerously underweight physique, and likening it to her friend Adrien's, was all it took.  Her parents were feeders and caretakers; they couldn't abide underfed children.

"It was so nice of your parents to get you the mini-fridge and microwave," Tikki said. "You're not the only member of the family with great ideas!"

"We Dupain-Chengs are creative." She tickled the little red being's tummy. "And I'm sure it helps to have the literal embodiment of creation hanging around us." 

Tikki shook her head. "I'm drawn to creativity, and I might boost it because we're so close all the time. But I can't make what isn't there."

Resting her hands on her hips, Marinette surveyed the finished project. It far exceeded her plans of a cooler and box of snacks, with boxes to sit on. She'd found a tiny table and two low profile chairs at a cafe that was changing out all of its patio furniture. She'd expanded her brightly colored awning to cover the entire patio, not just the corner where the food was kept.  She'd added curtains on all sides that could be dropped for privacy or protection from the weather, though she expected they'd stay rolled up most of the time. For the nights when more than two heroes were out and about, she'd added a storage bench full of blankets.  Her fairy lights had been swapped out for a larger set.

Tikki swooped over to the pseudo-kitchenette and hung up the laminated page explaining all the features of the space. Then she darted over to circle the empty rings in the new ceiling. "Let's put up your sign. Then you'll be officially open for business."

"Business," Marinette snorted, but picked up the little sign she'd crafted. "This is a philanthropic activity. I don't get paid for it."

"True," Tikki agreed. "But you do get peace of mind."

Sighing happily, Marinette nodded. "Yeah.  I do."

⁂

"Where are we going?" Chat Noir asked as Ladybug led him over the rooftops.

"It's a surprise." She couldn't look at him right now; she was afraid her giddiness would give her away. She couldn't wait to see his reaction. They were nearly there. "You'll want to vary your approach trajectory in the future to prevent suspicion."

"So it's someplace we'll be going routinely, then?" he asked, and she could imagine him tapping his clawed index finger against his chin as he followed. "New roof for meeting or training?" he guessed.

"Nope. This is way cooler." She paused on a roof where she could see both her old college and the faint twinkling of her patio lights. She had her glee under control now, and could glance over at him. "I know we've saved and met a lot of civilians, but do you happen to remember Marinette?"

His smile practically lit up the night. "Marinette Dupain-Cheng? The amazing up-and-coming fashion designer and daughter of the folks who run my favorite patisserie?  That Marinette?"

She nodded. She'd managed to stay out of akuma attacks as a civilian for the last two years, so she was frankly surprised he remembered her so clearly.

"She's amazing," he gushed. "She's so kind and brave, and she's as creative as you are. You should probably consider her as an option for a third string miraculous wielder. I bet she'd be fantastic."

She turned away so he wouldn't see the hot blush in her cheeks. Why did her partner's effusive praise please her so much? This was ridiculous! "Sounds like some kitty has a crush," she teased.

"Won't deny that for a moment," he said, completely unperturbed. "I think it's impossible to meet Marinette and not develop a crush."

"Really?" she asked, her voice squeaking in surprise at the confirmation.

"It's like a whole new law of physics," he said, rubbing his chin with one knuckle. "If you are capable of romantic or physical attraction, you will be attracted to Marinette."

"What?" Where had this come from? "Hyperbolic much?"

"Not at all," he insisted, utterly serious. "Every one of my friends who have ever come in contact with Marinette has gotten a crush on her."

He sounded so sincere, but his words didn't match up with her reality at all.

"So much concentrated energy and compassion," he continued with a sigh. "Definitely doesn't hurt that it comes in such an adorable package. She's deceptively strong, but so nurturing.  I know she'd treat a sweetheart right."

She let out an undignified squawk and tripped off the edge of the building. 

Chat was snickering when he caught up with her at the next rooftop over. "So shall I add you in the crushing on Marinette club?"

"Oooh, no." She shook her head. Dating herself? That'd be a trick.

He smirked. "Aaah yes. Denial. I remember that stage.  You should just move on to acceptance. Then we can talk about how awesome she is when we're playing hot-or-not. Spoiler, she's hot."

"Are you dating her?" she asked, hoping to derail that trainwreck. "Because if you're not, it sounds like you want to."

"I wish." His amusement turned to wistfulness. "I don't dare get that close to her as my super self or my bland civilian self." He shook his head. "It wouldn't be safe for her."

"Wow," she whispered. "That's both really sad and amazingly wise all at the same time."

Chat Noir shrugged.  "I've grown up a bit the last few years."

"I'd noticed," she pointed out with a grin.

"No, I mean mentally… emotionally." Another shrug. "I was kind of stunted when we met. But I've learned."

She patted his shoulder. "Well, we're heading to Marinette's," she said. "She's got snacks for us."

His eyes were wide, and a blush kissed his cheeks.

She swung herself over, landing just before him, so she could see his face as he looked around the renovated space. 

"Marinette's Hero Cafe?" Chat Noir read the sign she'd hung up with Tikki as the final touch. His mouth was open a little in awe. He crossed into the kitchenette where a little chalkboard on top of the microwave declared stew the special of the evening. She'd worked with multi-colored chalks to draw designs like she'd seen in various cafes around the city. He reached out and ran a finger over the stack of dishes and peeked into the refrigerator, stocked with energy drinks, a pitcher of water, fruit, cheese, and the pot of leftovers.

After he'd read the laminated sheet and marveled over every last detail, he turned to her. "Did you already see this?" he asked.

Ladybug nodded. "She flagged me down and shared the idea with me when she was just starting work on it.  It's… grown a lot from what she first envisioned." She shrugged. "It's probably a little over the top. What do you think?"

He beamed at her. "I love it." He glanced down at the skylight, but her room below was dark. "If she were home… or awake, I'd have to thank her profusely.  Grandly.  In true Chat Noir style." He struck a pose, then dabbed.

"You're ridiculous," she said, snorting with laughter. "And while thanking her is fine, you really don't need to go over the top."

"But…" He waved around them at the remodeled space. "She made this for us. I know she used to use this space for brainstorming and designing."

"She still can," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but… I don't think she'll feel as free to do so now.  Maybe during the day, but not at night." He rubbed at his chin. "I know what she's like. She's set this space aside for us, and I bet she doesn't even really think of it as hers anymore."

She stared at him, blinking in stunned silence. How did Chat Noir know Marinette so well?

"She'll want us to feel comfortable here without risks, so she'll probably take care of the space, and bring up the leftovers from dinner." He pointed at the refrigerator. "But she'll want to leave it for us."

"I hadn't thought of that." It wasn't true. She had thought of it, and felt the pros outweighed the cons. "Maybe she feels it's worth it? It's her way of thanking us for taking care of Paris."

Chat Noir lifted the glass cover off a platter of pastries to pluck out his current favorite, a croissant with just enough dark chocolate to make it feel decadent. "I may not be able to thank her tonight, but mark my words, I will rectify that in the future."

"There's no need to get all over the top and ridiculous about it," she cautioned.

"Pfft. I am Chat Noir," he announced. "Ridiculous is what I do."

She shook her head.  "That's what I'm afraid of."

"And Marinette deserves an extra helping of my gratitude."

"Chaaaat," her tone was a warning.

"Think she'd accept payment in exotic fabrics?" he asked.

Ladybug stared at him, stunned for approximately the fifth time in the last hour. He knew her, Marinette her, well enough to know exactly what would appeal. She found her voice after a moment of heavy silence. "I think Plagg needs to add a tag to your collar."

His luminescent eyes blinked slowly in confusion.

"You are clearly Marinette's cat."

⁂

It’s not a one-shot anymore, and you can now check out Chapter Two if you’d like.

If you’re so inclined, feel free to support me over on Ko-Fi